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Thread: Bouncing Back from Trauma by Tito Idakula

Twitter/X @TitoIdakula

Original thread post on Twitter/X

When my daughter was 18 months old, she figured out how to get out of her crib. Every time we put her in it, she found her way out. She’ll turn up at our room grinning with pride because she “escaped.” It was frustrating, but we got used to it. Everything was okay until one day…

I was downstairs in the kitchen and heard a BANG! A few seconds later, I heard TEARS and it was all I needed to know that our special climber had fallen during one of her escape missions. I ran upstairs & was relieved because the fall wasn’t too bad. Her leg had simply slipped.

It was more the shock and the unexpected nature of the fall that had her CRYING so loudly. It was understandable. Of course I gave lots of hugs and kisses until she calmed down. Needless to say, she refused to climb out of her crib after that.

Her crib is big and she still uses it. So for a whole year, she never took the risk of climbing out of the crib. Not because she didn’t know how to but because the trauma from her previous fall had her locked in a prison of fear. I tried many times but it was always a NO!

I have thought about this often. How traumatic experiences keep us bound. We don’t become all that we have been created to be because the fear of failure or pain is overwhelming. We hide our potential and pretend we don’t know it exists because it is safer that way.

At some point, we have to decide: “Would I rather try & fail or stay where I am and never be more?” God has placed so much in our hearts, but like the children of Israel, we let the fear of the unknown stop us. We just keep thinking, “What if it doesn’t work?”

But what if it does?

Today, my daughter climbed out of her crib again after over a year of being too afraid. She was ready! I noticed she climbed with a bit more caution & with a new strategy. So maybe the fall was the lesson she needed to do things “better.” Her fall was not so bad after all.

I don’t know what you have experienced or what you are dealing with, but I feel I should remind you that what does not destroy you can only make you stronger. It is time for you to face your fear and try again. It’ll either work out brilliantly or you’ll learn something.

For that person who God is calling to take bold, scary steps of Faith! Don’t let past disappointment, trauma, or even “failure” make you doubt that God is on your side and He is with you. Greater is He who is in you than anything in this world. It’s time to go again!

P.S. This is also for me. I haven’t been able to write anything for weeks, and it got harder to try. I literally wrote this because I had to accept that it won’t be perfect, but I didn’t want my fear to stop me. Praying this helps someone!

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First ride of the season & Tour de Cure ATL

In 2011, I decided to start cycling. I connected with someone who was an avid cyclist and very knowledgeable about the cycling community in New York City. She introduced me to her bike shop and I got fitted for my first serious bike. I went with a hybrid. In May 2012, I rode in my first event, the Five Boro Bike Tour in NYC. I was off to a strong start… and very enjoyable. I don’t think I thought seriously about racing, but it turned out that I thoroughly enjoyed the touring events through the City and countryside. During the last ride of the 2012 season, I got hit by a SUV during my 11th mile. I’ve tried getting back on my bike a few times since, but it’s been hard. I was more traumatized by being hit than I was willing to admit to myself.
I had many false starts trying to return to cycling. There were several occasions when I got dressed and prepped my bike for a ride and just sat on my sofa and stared at it. There were other times when I paid for cycling events and didn’t even show up. A year or two ago, I got as far as 26 miles into a 40 mile ride before giving up – mostly from lack of preparation and practice beforehand; it was the first long ride I had attempted since being hit a couple of years prior.
Last year, I decided 2016 would be a year of cycling for me. I determined that I would set aside the fear and anxiety of sharing the road with motorists and put myself back into the flow of traffic. I did a commute to/from work and a group ride during the fall. The commute was devastating and traumatic because of traffic, construction detours and the absence of a dedicated bike lane on the route and detours I took. The group ride was amazing, invigorating and freeing! It took place on a crisp, clear day in early December with the NYC chapter of Black Girls Do Bike, an organization of women cyclists who ride at the pace of their slowest rider (i.e. no one is left behind). We rode from Midtown Manhattan to Brooklyn for a book event. From that ride I signed up for my first event for the 2016 season: the American Diabetes Association Tour de Cure Atlanta. This is my first fund-raising biking event. **I would be very grateful for your contribution towards my $200 fundraising goal.**

My goal is to get in 2-3 commutes per week plus a weekend ride. To this end, I got out for my first conditioning ride/commute last week. It was a beautiful day that called for the wind blowing through my hair.

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SERMON: Don’t Draw Back by Carter Conlon

Galatians 6:12-18

Some people are trying to force you to be circumcised so the Jews will accept them. They are afraid they will be attacked if they follow only the cross of Christ.[a] Those who are circumcised do not obey the law themselves, but they want you to be circumcised so they can brag about what they forced you to do. I hope I will never brag about things like that. The cross of our Lord Jesus Christ is my only reason for bragging. Through the cross of Jesus my world was crucified, and I died to the world. It is not important if a man is circumcised or uncircumcised. The important thing is being the new people God has made. Peace and mercy to those who follow this rule — and to all of God’s people.

So do not give me any more trouble. I have scars on my body that show[b] I belong to Christ Jesus.

My brothers and sisters, the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen.

Hebrews 11: 6  Without faith no one can please God. Anyone who comes to God must believe that he is real and that he rewards those who truly want to find him.

Hebrews 10:38-39 Those who are right with me will live by faith. But if they turn back with fear, I will not be pleased with them.” Habakkuk 2:3–4

But we are not those who turn back and are lost. We are people who have faith and are saved.

Genesis 15:5-6  Then God led Abram outside and said, “Look at the sky. There are so many stars you cannot count them. Your descendants also will be too many to count.”

Abram believed the Lord. And the Lord accepted Abram’s faith, and that faith made him right with God.

2 Timothy 4 3-4  …because the time will come when people will not listen to the true teaching but will find many more teachers who please them by saying the things they want to hear. They will stop listening to the truth and will begin to follow false stories.
Galatians 1:9-10 I said this before, and now I say it again: You have already accepted the Good News. If anyone is preaching something different to you, let that person be judged guilty!

Do you think I am trying to make people accept me? No, God is the One I am trying to please. Am I trying to please people? If I still wanted to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Galatians 5:25-26 We get our new life from the Spirit, so we should follow the Spirit. We must not be proud or make trouble with each other or be jealous of each other.

2 Corinthians 5:17  If anyone belongs to Christ, there is a new creation. The old things have gone; everything is made new!

Additional verse references:

Philippians 4:13

2 Corinthians 11:23-28

Isaiah 38 

Notes & Quotes

“Get up! God sent you here to do a job, get up and get it done.” ~ Brother Troops

Don’t succumb to the unbelief of the moment. Don’t draw back. God called you for this moment.

People will offer you an alternate way – full of religion, but not full of faith. They offer things that require a lot of human effort. Don’t trust it.

You have life in the Spirit, you do not need exterior signs of God’s presence in your life.

If any man draw back, my soul shall have no pleasure in him. Without faith it is impossible to please God. To please God you must first believe that God is.

Don’t believe speech that has no power or no life – man-centered, man-focused. Theses speakers draw to themselves, not to Jesus.

The biggest assault on the Church of Christ is always from within.

I am not going to draw back. I am going to move forward by faith.

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Minister to me.

Minister: To attend to the wants and needs of others; to perform the functions of a cleric.

According to my standards, I’ve been something of a whiney baby lately. I’ve grown tired of encouraging myself and have deeply desired for someone to minister to me. I’ve needed someone to speak God’s word to me. To lift me up to the Father. To agree with me for healing and peace. To model the personal relationship we have with Christ here in our daily life. And I’ve wondered if God has heard any of my deepest longings because I stand alone. There is not another to share my walk and speak on my behalf.

So, I wallowed in self-pity for some time. Not much different from Elijah when he fled Jezebel. I’ve been in retreat as well. Just as Elijah was ministered to by an angel of God, the Holy Spirit has fed me when I’ve been too weak to feed on the Word myself.

God’s instructions are all about the “get up!” – get up and eat, get up and go, get up and speak. And I’ve been all about the “lift me up!” – lift me up for encouragement, lift me up for strength, lift me up for agreement. The more I’ve looked for someone to lift me up, the more down I’ve become. Somehow, it’s just become crystal clear to me that the only minister I need is the Holy Spirit. And the only person I need to be in agreement with is Christ. It’s not that I didn’t know this. It’s just that I’m human, and like all humans, I also overlook what’s truly for me while going after what I think I need. But thank God for His never-ending mercy and grace and His penchant for corrective parenting. Every time I veer off course, I come back with a lesson and understanding that strengthened me for the next stage of my journey.

So, brothers and sisters, I am sharing this word with you because I know you too are looking for someone to minister to you. On the surface this word may be pleasing. And at first glance, your church life and fellowship community fulfills your immediate needs. But I know from experience, for the deeper things you desire in Christ, only His Spirit can minister to you fully and satisfactorily.

If you instruct the brethren in these things, you will be a good minister of Jesus Christ, nourished in the words of faith and of the good doctrine which you have carefully followed. ~ 1 Timothy 4:6

“If anyone serves Me, he must follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also; if anyone serves Me, the Father will honor him. ~ John 12:26

Reference verses:
1 Kings 19
John 12:20-36
1 Timothy 4:6-15