My sister Kim always tells me she loves me. She’s three years my junior and still acts like the baby who needs full care. Today, on my 48th birthday, I told her I’ve evolved past the point of accepting the word love without the action of love.
“I wish I was smart,” she said.
“What does ‘smart’ have to do with love?”
“I can’t say the words I mean.”
“Well, let me tell you what I mean. This isn’t to bash you. This has been on my mind for the last couple of weeks.” She called last month and asked me to pick her up and take her to the emergency room. I hadn’t heard from her in about nine months. “You always say you love me but your actions say different. You don’t want to talk to me. You don’t want to spend time with me. You told me you resent me and that’s all I can think about when I’m around you. This is how the world treats me and I know the world doesn’t love me.”
“Shawnda! You’re my only family!”
Last week she admitted herself to the hospital for a long-delayed major surgery. She was detoxed and prepped for three days and called me a couple of hours before the procedure. I hadn’t heard from her in a month, since the day after the emergency room.
“I sat with you for four days in the hospital. For four days, you slept through my visits. Didn’t talk. Didn’t engage. Your boyfriend walks in. Suddenly, you’re alert, you’re talking, you’re engaging. He may have a different idea of what love is, but I’m sure he knows you want to be around him.”
“I wish I was there with you now.”
“But you had the opportunity to be with me and you chose different.”
“I just want you to understand me. I want to understand you.”
“Understand what, Kim?”
“It’s hard. My life has been hard.”
“Life is hard for most people. Most everyone is tested beyond their endurance in some way. But no one can understand what you’ve been through if you don’t communicate. That’s why talking is important. If you don’t talk to me, how can I know what’s going on with you?”
“You’re right.”
“The best thing to understand about me is that safety is important to me. I make sure people who mean me harm don’t have access to me. I’ve become adept at removing myself from people and situations intent on controlling me. Being in a home where no one has power over me makes me feel safe. What’s the one thing you want me to understand about you? The most important thing?”
2018 visit to Milwaukee. First time seeing my sister after eleven years of avoiding me. We went to visit cousins and she stayed lucid for most of the visit.
“I’m the same person.”
“The same person how?”
“I’m stuck in the same time.”
“What’s the time?”
“Twenty-four.”
“The age twenty-four?”
“Yes.”
“What was the trigger at the age of twenty-for.”
“Will. Will and Deidre. I prefer to be quiet and keep them under the rug. And I sit on yhe rug.”
“No! Pick up the rug, beat them up and kick them out the house! Keeping them buried with you in your space keeps you stuck where you are. Far better to confront the memory and kick it out of your house.”
Things I heard coming out my mouth today that made me pause.
To a kindergartener whose hands seem to search out, touch, move and poke everything. This time he pressed a button on the PA system mic and was breathing heavy (a la Dark Vader) to the whole school:
Is this yours? Does it belong to you? Why are you touching things that aren’t yours?
Unfortunately, the mic was still on while I asked him these questions and entertained the whole school with my strident tone.
To a 2nd grader who said she wanted to be the new girl’s best friend but another classmate was being mean to her and blocking her blessing (paraphrased):
You can be friends with her even if someone else wants to be her friend. That’s okay. Just be a good friend and expect others be a good friend to you.
To a 4th grader who has more anxiety than everyone I’ve ever known combined:
Her: They were calling me fat. I want mom to bring me new clothes. Me: Did you like your outfit before they called you names? Her: Yes. Me: What do I always tell you? Her: Ignore them. Me: If you like what you’re wearing, it doesn’t matter what others think. Tell them to be quiet and mind their business.
To every child that comes to me with an injury, problem, or complaint:
So what you wanna do?
A couple of weeks ago a K5er, came into the office three days in a row with different ailments in an attempt to go home. On the third day, he claimed his wrist was broken while waving it in my face and insisting I call his mom. Humoring him, I asked, if I call mom, what are you going to say?
With the cheekiest grin, he put his hands on the arm of my chair and began jumping in my face. “I’m gonna ask her what she wanna do!”
NOTE: If you haven’t subscribed to my YouTube channel, please head over and subscribe! I usually post my full videos there before I get to cutting them up or writing about them for the blog.With 26 more subscribers, I can name my channel so it will be easier to find.
Over the last weeks, I’ve been feeling a shift in energy. Nothing has changed with me, so I don’t think I’m initiating the shift. Since I’m sharing encounters about men who for the most part don’t know each other, I think the shift is on the larger scale of planetary alignment or vortex vibrations through the universe. (😇 ha ha ha)
I’ve been posting clips of this video on Instagram (@harvestphoto1). The whole enchilada is a chuckle-fest of recent encounters with men that have left me laughing and feeling cared for. This is a far cry from the norm over the last few years that usually left me feeling violated, infuriated and disregarded. It’s an appreciation of being able to share moments of gentleness and grace with folks who prefer being gruffly obtuse.
Survive to tell your story.
Are you food for the predators? Or the one that got away? In this story, the man shares how he insured his family understood what “every man, woman and child for themselves” really means!
Having honest conversations with people with nothing to hide is refreshing. Be true to yourself. Your perspective and personality will leave an impact.
Leo Season!
As tired and haggard as I think I look sometimes, it’s nice to know it doesn’t completely show. Why would someone call me, “Liar in July”? Happy August, folks! Or as I like to say, Happy Birthday Month to ME! 😊
This is my girl!
If stated intentions confirmed courtship, I would be booed up with half the block at this point. One of my neighbors introduced me as his “girl” at a block party this weekend. His bold disregard for reality made me laugh. Where was all this energy in high school?
“I love you as a Woman of God and as a Friend”
Say it plain. Keep it simple. This text from a friend of thirty years, is still warming my heart!
Just wanted to say I love you so much …as a woman of God and as a friend. I also want to share how much I appreciate you for who you are and our connection as well. You are an amazing person and I’m honored to have you as part of my life’s experience. Many many blessings to you and talk soon. 👍🏽🤗🙏🏽✊🏽
I write these things to you concerning those who would deceive you. As for you, the anointing that you received from Him abides in you, and so you do not need anyone to teach you. But as His anointing teaches you about all things, and is true and is not a lie, and just as it has taught you, abide in him.~ 1 John 2:26-27
A friendship of two decades is in its final death-throes.
The friend has most likely been holding on due to my potential as a donor for regular emergencies. I was holding on because I hoped she would walk out of her self-imposed doom-and-gloom prison and begin enjoying something of life.
For the vast majority of the time, I have known her, since her break-up with her ex-boyfriend, she is the one person who has been able to suck all of my light-infused energy from my being and inject her angst and unsettledness into me, creating instant exhaustion.
Nearly a decade ago, I began consciously not speaking to her while at home. I would take her calls while walking about town or sitting outdoors. The darkness coming from her during these conversations was too much to sit in while in my own space. Prior to this practice, I had been telling her for a few years that I had no place to go with her emotional dumps. Her bitterness and anger were too great for me to mediate. Add to that her stubbornness and a willfulness not to listen, and we have a toxic one-sided relationship that’s over-due for a curtain call.
She claims to be a seeker of Christ, but there is no light in her. She claims to live according to God’s law, but she has no understanding or expression of love. She has studied the Bible for years but only focuses on text supporting her worldview – any passage on hate and condemnation to shore up her belief in a vengeful God who only loves vengeful children.
Early on I was cast in the role of countering her fire and brimstone biblical interpretations with more rounded interpretations that take into account God providing His own sacrifice for our sins and transgressions. But after nearly two decades of trying to balance a dark-hearted view with light and joy, I’m done.
Today, this woman told me I am not a good or supportive friend because I don’t hate the people she hates or ignore the people she ignores.
She knows I don’t hate the people I used to want to hate. She knows my faith journey has been all about forgiving, releasing and growing forward. She has been around as I’ve confronted and vanquished demons attacking my life. Yet and still her ultimatum today was, if you want to be friendly/greet/reach out to people I’m not talking to then you can’t be part of my circle; count me out.
“God is love, and those who abide in love abide in God, and God abides in them. Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness on the day of judgment, because as he is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love. We love because he first loved us. Those who say, “I love God,” and hate their brothers or sisters, are liars; for those who do not love a brother or sister whom they have seen, cannot love God whom they have not seen. The commandment we have from him is this: those who love God must love their brothers and sisters also.” ~ 1 John 4:16-21
My reply was that I was not seeking relationships with the people she’s angry with. I greeted one, her sister, when we saw her at a restaurant yesterday. She chose not to acknowledge her sister and only said “things are awkward” between them and I should “read between the lines.” I reached out to the other, her ex-boyfriend and the father of her children, through their oldest, my godson, who lives with him, to ask for contacts and guidance for contractors after closing on my first investment property. My asking for help from her ex is apparently what set her on a warpath. He’s been in construction and auxiliary services for about twenty-five years. I’m new to the industry. It made practical sense to me to reach out to those I know are connected to the business. I had also reached out to another friend to see if her husband could help or offer guidance. He provided a list of contractors that got me started. And my cousin’s husband was my first helper. None of this seemed outrageous to me.
After dumping her anger on that, this friend attacked my creative works. Her continual dumping about her contentious relationship with her ex was featured in My God and Me: Listening, Learning and Growing on My Journey, a book I published in 2009. She brought that up today as an example of my poor performance as a friend. Quite honestly, I don’t remember what I wrote about her and her ex or the lessons I learned from them, but I am disturbed by the fact that she’s only now expressing how deeply impacted she felt about me sharing my interactions with her in my book. This tells me she hasn’t been genuine at all in the last twelve years. How could she be if she’s been resenting me all this time?
Several portraits I took of her in 2018 are featured in I AM WOMAN: Expressions of Black Womanhood. She doesn’t like the way she looks. She said, “ I only see my pain when I look at these pictures.” Mind you when the photos were taken, it was for this project. Shortly after, she asked me to delete my work. I considered it, but I was angered at the thought of deleting my creative work simply because she couldn’t stand looking at herself. That being said, one of those images had been selected for two gallery shows in New York City. After the first show, she signed a photo release for the second. There was no complaint about having her image in a gallery, but I’m a horrible friend for putting that image and others in my book?
She has a four image spread that compliments a letter to Michelle Obama, as well as speeches by Michelle and Kamala Harris. In a book that explores the bondage and silencing of Black Women, she was paired with our two proudest historical accomplishments. But all she saw was her pain. She didn’t see how her story is so many others story. She didn’t see that we’re all overcoming everyday. She doesn’t see that in her attempt to hide and control her portion of the narrative she’s impacting and distorting the larger collective narrative.
It wasn’t until she unleashed about her images being in my book – images that she doesn’t like – that I realized that all the hatred I thought was directed outward was actually ricocheting from the inside. She’s been in the throws of self-loathing for many years and I didn’t identify it as such. However, I did begin to understand she truly doesn’t know how to love when she rejected her son a couple of years ago for choices he made in his life. Her whole life has been wrapped up in smothering her children while hating their father. Despite her confusion with the Word, she has kept her children in the Bible. When she cited her belief in God as the reason she rejected her son, I began stepping back. That’s when I acknowledged I was no match for her destructive reaction to people living their lives on their own terms.
I have assured her I will remove her images from I AM WOMAN as well as references to her story in future publications of My God and Me. I had debated including her images because I didn’t want the negative energy attached to her to infuse my project. I should have heeded my gut. Lesson learned.
My hope that she will wake up and present a version of herself that isn’t bitter, hateful, manipulative or controlling is put to rest. I throw in the towel. If someone doesn’t know the difference between an honorable tribute and a hateful act then I’m really out of words.
“Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. Those who believe in him are not condemned; but those who do not believe are condemned already, because they have not believed in the name of the only Son of God. And this is the judgment, that the light has come into the world, and people loved darkness rather than light because their deeds were evil. For all who do evil hate the light and do not come to the light, so that their deeds may not be exposed. But those who do what is true come to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that their deeds have been done in God.” ~ John 3:17-21
evidence: the available body of facts or information indicating whether a belief or proposition is true or valid
Every time Evidence comes on in the car I want to pull over and praise God. Today, I came to home to write.
All throughout my history Your faithfulness has walked beside me.
There is not one period of my life that I cannot identify the presence of God and His work in me. I remember being baptized around the age of six. Though I had no understanding of what that meant at the time, I can literally look back on my life to that moment and see how God has held on to me through every devastation, betrayal, abuse, disillusionment and every step of rebuilding and healing.
I remember my one-dollar lock and key diaries from Walgreens that were full of my seven-year-old pleadings for God to save me from the near daily sexual abuse I was subjected to. “Dear God, he did it again. Please make him stop!” Years of one or two line prayers. Silent screams. One day, four years later, God called me out of my house (I didn’t recognize His hand then, but I certainly do now) and guided me on a walk to a nearby police station outpost. I knocked on the door and said to the officer who answered, “I’m being molested.”
From that moment forward, I was never again forced to share space with my violators.
The winter storms made way for spring. In every season, from where I’m standing I see the evidence of Your goodness all over my life. I see Your promises in fulfillment all over my life.
I grew up in families – both sides – that didn’t acknowledge abuse or trauma. Everyone is either a victim or a perpetrator. If anyone could claim to be on the sidelines, they would act deaf, dumb, blind and incapable for standing against any wrongdoing.
A few years after I had forgiven my dad, and a few years before he died, he asked me why I act better than I am. “You’re from the ghetto, you’ll always be ghetto.” This was during the “healing and repair” of our relationship, mind you. It was also one of our last conversations.
Imagine being told by someone who should have molded you for greatness, that you were never expected to rise above his level of filth, disease, psychological, sexual and spiritual bondage. Imagine being looked upon with disgust by a man who, for all intent and purpose, murdered you as a child and then being told as an adult woman that you were expected to remain dead.
At that time, I hadn’t yet started my dedicated faith walk. I was still journaling – writing prayers to God – but the Bible remained a mystery to me. Nothing was catching or keeping. However, I can look back on that time now and see it as the beginning of release in my life. I tried so hard to reconcile that relationship, but when I stopped holding on – when I stopped trying – it was easy to see that I had been on my own the whole time.
I believe firmly that God desires willing hearts most – a desire to conform to His Word in practice and deed. However, He has never allowed me to remain open to those who intentionally harm me repeatedly. I view this as God’s judgement on the other person’s heart condition, rather than my inability to be faithful and obedient to Grace and Mercy.
Imagine telling your sire: I’m more than my beginnings. I’m more than the seed you contributed to my being. I’ve become more than a little girl from the ghetto.
Help me remember when I’m weak, fear may come but fear will leave.
It’s said that we can do anything we can imagine. Yet our imagination is limited by what we’re exposed to. What if we’re exposed to people who can’t see beyond their own dark pits?
I went into a deep depression in my late thirties. My mom died at the age of thirty-six and when I reached that age, my future dimmed to darkness. It was difficult to climb out of my second grave by letting go of the woman I thought I would have become by then. My mother began life as a sharecropper’s granddaughter in rural Mississippi, but I only ever saw her as the best of all created beings. As difficult as her life had been, she had at least accomplished the Holy Grail of Womanhood (according to society) – marriage and children. No matter that she tied herself to a rotten man and worked multiple minimum wage jobs to house and feed her children, she remained the epitome of everything to me. It was difficult to see myself as worthy of more time in this world than she had. Harder still to face the length of her lifespan without even a taste of the Holy Grail of Womanhood.
The end of beginnings is the beginning of letting go.
You lead my heart to victory. You are my strength and You always will be.
My birthday this year will put me at ten years beyond the lifespan of my mother – and still not even a lick of the traditional Holy Grail of Womanhood. Today, I can say I am completely fine with that. In recent years I’ve not only learned to embrace my solitude, I’ve come to appreciate it, honor it and protect it. There’s something being forged in me that I can’t articulate. That glimpse of greatness that repelled my dad fifteen years ago, is unfurling in a wondrous way. I’ve grown from hiding my light under a bushel to Clarkeshia Kent exposing her S with a declarative chest thrust. Yet my light is still gaining strength. I foresee beaming across the Universe.
Why settle for tradition when the Universe is already mine?
I’m becoming a Woman I never imagined I would be. Nothing about my life today was part of the dream, fantasy or hope. Everything about my life is better than all my mind and heart conjured for me. There’s something to be said about what we’re exposed to. Exposure sounds expansive, but it’s actually limiting. If we only trust what our eyes see, we will be satisfied with that view for our life. However, when we begin to let go of all the dead things – relationships, hopes, dreams, ideals, culture, tradition – we will have room to invite the previously unimaginable in. We will be able to develop into beings of light with experiences beyond the confinement of the world. Living beyond the construct breaks the paradigm. At which point, you’ll actually be able to imagine what previously seemed impossible. Thus, within your reality all things are then possible.
A great portent appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet, and on her head a crown of twelve stars. She was pregnant and was crying out in birth pangs, in the agony of giving birth.
But her child was snatched away and taken to God and to his throne; and the woman fled into the wilderness, where she has a place prepared by God, so that there she can be nourished for one thousand two hundred sixty days.
So when the dragon saw that he had been thrown down to the earth, he pursued[d] the woman who had given birth to the male child. But the woman was given the two wings of the great eagle, so that she could fly from the serpent into the wilderness, to her place where she is nourished for a time, and times, and half a time.
Then the dragon was angry with the woman, and went off to make war on the rest of her children, those who keep the commandments of God and hold the testimony of Jesus.
All throughout my history Your faithfulness has walked beside me The winter storms made way for spring In every season, from where I’m standing
I see the evidence of Your goodness All over my life All over my life I see Your promises in fulfillment All over my life All over my life
Help me remember when I’m weak Fear may come but fear will leave You lead my heart to victory You are my strength and You always will be
See the cross, the empty grave The evidence is endless All my sin rolled away Because of You, oh Jesus
Why should I fear The evidence is here
See a Victory
by Elevation Worship w/Brandon Lake
The weapon may be formed but it won’t prosper When the darkness falls it won’t prevail Cause the God I serve knows only how to triumph My God will never fail My God will never fail
I’m gonna see a victory I’m gonna see a victory For the battle belongs to You Lord I’m gonna see a victory I’m gonna see a victory For the battle belongs to You Lord
There’s power in the mighty name of Jesus Every war He wages He will win I’m not backing down from any giant I know how this story ends I know how this story ends
You take what the enemy meant for evil And You turn it for good You turn it for good
When Jesus saw the crowds, he went up the mountain; and after he sat down, his disciples came to him.
Then he began to speak, and taught them, saying: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
“Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
“Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy.
“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
“Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
“Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
“You are the salt of the earth; but if salt has lost its taste, how can its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything, but is thrown out and trampled under foot.
“You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hid. No one after lighting a lamp puts it under the bushel basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.
“Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets; I have come not to abolish but to fulfill. For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth pass away, not one letter, not one stroke of a letter, will pass from the law until all is accomplished. Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others to do the same, will be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
“You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not murder’; and ‘whoever murders shall be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, ‘You fool,’ you will be liable to the hell of fire. So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift. Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way to court with him, or your accuser may hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to go into hell.
“It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that anyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of unchastity, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
“Again, you have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but carry out the vows you have made to the Lord.’ But I say to you, Do not swear at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. Let your word be ‘Yes, Yes’ or ‘No, No’; anything more than this comes from the evil one.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also; and if anyone wants to sue you and take your coat, give your cloak as well; and if anyone forces you to go one mile, go also the second mile. Give to everyone who begs from you, and do not refuse anyone who wants to borrow from you.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Blessed are those who trust in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. They shall be like a tree planted by water, sending out its roots by the stream. It shall not fear when heat comes, and its leaves shall stay green; in the year of drought it is not anxious, and it does not cease to bear fruit. ~ Jeremiah 17:7-8
Like a tree planted in the water.
Leaves are always green
Never fails to bear fruit.
Having a relationship with God does not exempt us from troubles. It gives us a foundation to draw from when hard times come. It enables us to not only survive, but to bear fruit during the most difficult season. Droughts and storms, summer, winter. Fake trees look good but they can’t bear fruit.
Strong people do not happen by accident. Strength is not revealed during the dry season. It just reveals itself
Key Verse
And he came to her and said, “Greetings, favored one! The Lord is with you.” But she was much perplexed by his words and pondered what sort of greeting this might be. The angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And now, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give to him the throne of his ancestor David. He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.” Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I am a virgin?” The angel said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be holy; he will be called Son of God. And now, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son; and this is the sixth month for her who was said to be barren. For nothing will be impossible with God.” Then Mary said, “Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.” Then the angel departed from her. ~ Luke 1:28-38
Foundation Elements
Awareness of God’s Presence. Are you aware of God’s presence or is your life so loud, crowded and back to back with busyness that you can’t hear Gods Voice?
Make time and space for to fellowship with God
Acceptance. Have you accepted the calling on your life? Living in favor requires work.
Action. Favor requires action on your part. What is your response time? Every calling starts with a small step. If you won’t do and act with the small things, you won’t get to any big things. God does not give you step two before you perform step one.
Attachment. Sometimes favor is the people God has placed in your life. Align yourself with those who confirm your calling. Supportive relationships are helpful to your faith walk.
Blessed are you among women. Blessed is the fruit of your womb. ~ Luke 1:42
2020 year-end reflection and message for those of us used to putting everyone else first and feeding into situations that don’t nourish us. Just as we try to be available supportive and our best selves for others, we should be equally, if not more so, for ourselves.
Lord, Lord
Why did You make me Black?
Why did You make someone
the world wants to hold back?
Black is the color of dirty clothes,
the color of grimy hands and feet.
Black is the color of darkness,
the color of tire-beaten streets.
Why did You give me thick lips,
a broad nose and kinky hair?
Why did You make someone
who receives the hatred stare?
Black is the color of the bruised eye
when someone gets hurt.
Black is the color of darkness,
Black is the color of dirt.
How come my bone structure’s so thick,
my hips and cheeks are high?
How come my eyes are brown
and not the color of daylight sky?
Why do people think I’m useless?
How come I feel so used?
Why do some people see my skin
and think I should be abused?
Lord I just don’t understand.
What is it about my skin?
Why do some people want to hate me
and not know the person within?
Black is what people are “listed”
when others want to keep them away.
Black is the color of shadows cast.
Black is the end of day.
Lord you know my own people mistreat me
and I know this just ain’t right.
They don’t like my hair.
They say I’m too dark or too light.
Lord, don’t You think it’s time for You
to make a change?
Why don’t You re-do creation and
make everyone the same?
God answered:
Why did I make you Black?
Why did I make you Black?
Get off your knees and look around
Tell me, what do you see?
I didn’t make you in the image of darkness,
I made you in likeness of ME!
I made you the color of coal from which
beautiful diamonds are formed.
I made you the color of oil,
the black gold that keeps people warm.
I made you from the rich, dark earth that can
grow the food you need.
You color’s the same as the black stallion,
a majestic animal is he.
I didn’t make you in the image of darkness.
I made you in likeness of ME!
All the colors of the heavenly rainbow can be
found throughout every nation.
But when all of those colors were blended,
you became my greatest creation.
Your hair is the texture of lamb’s wool.
Such a humble little creature is he.
I am the Sheperd who watches them.
I am the One who will watch over thee.
You are the color of midnight sky.
I put the star’s glitter in your eyes.
There is a smile hidden behind your pain.
That’s why your cheeks are so high.
You are the color of dark clouds formed,
when I send My strongest weather.
I made your lips full so when you kiss
the one that you love, they will remember.
Your stature is strong, your bone structure thick
to withstand the burdens of time.
The reflection you see in the mirror…
The image that looks back is MINE.
