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Eggs + Swedish Veggie Balls

[From the never pisted archives circa June 2021]

I surprised myself with this one! It was a morning after recovery meal.

The day before, I didn’t really eat well. Nothing truly horrendous… a couple of bowls of cereal in the morning and eating Rocky Road ice cream from the container right before bed. All sugar. Bad choices. It happens.

I’ve been coping for a couple of weeks actually. Soothing myself with ice cream, cookies, donuts, pizza, root beer (I’m back in my hometown where my favorite root beer is brewed; I hadn’t had it in years). So far, I haven’t spiked my sugar, but full disclosure, my menstrual cycle may be somewhat culpable here (hadn’t connected that thought before 🤔).  Anywho, when I fall into a partial binge or other bad eating habits, my recovery is overloading on protein and veggies.

The most recent recovery meal was amazing! So much so, I stopped eating so I could take a photo for a post. Since I had no intention of sharing it, I didn’t tray to make a pretty plate. That being said all the colors in the dish are quite striking.

All my life, breakfast has been my favorite meal. Cereal is the primary food. Pancakes are the favorite. Eggs are an absolute staple. As I’ve been monitoring myself with diabetes (one year next month), I’ve noticed that my body responds much better with certain food combinations than others.

Cereal makes me sluggish, even with coffee. Hot cereal and pancakes put me to sleep almost immediately, even with coffee. I fight the sleep, so I remain drowsy for most of the day. Ergo my lazy Saturdays and Sundays. But eggs, my dear friends, fuel me for the day. If I have salad with my eggs in the morning, I’m unstoppable!

Now, I’m a connoisseur of egg sandwiches. Love me some egg, turkey sausage and cheese on a croissant, bagel, or any bread! But, I didn’t get energy from those sandwiches.

A piece of bread with the eggs and salad if helpful. Too much bread (carbs) drag me down. This is what I’ve learned about my body over the last year. Now the below images and ingredients have context.

Leftovers provide one of a kind creative opportunities. I had marinated and sauteed asparagus spears, mushrooms and onions in red vinegar and olive oil earlier in the week. I put those on the stove and tossed in some medley tomatoes. These started the plate. The eggs were scrambled with cheese then added to the plate. Lastly I sliced up a leftover half of advocado and sauteed it in salsa and poured that over the eggs.

As I sat to eat I remembered I had put some veggie balls in the oven. They got dumped on top. Since the plate looked like a veggie fiesta with an Italian undercurrent, I decided to add a dollop of daisy sourcream and a sprinkle of parmesan cheese as a finale! 😋

The flavor was a full sensory experience with no heaviness from the meal. I think that was the first day I left the house in a week. #energy #recovery #fulleffect

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Toxicity Manifests in Your Body

For the last two months, I worked in an environment I knew from day one was not a good fit. I’m actually surprised I hung on for as long as I did.

If my memory works like it should, I will not put my health at risk for a paycheck again.

My stress and glucose began spiking the first week. My right knee and hip got out of sync and I began limping heavily after sitting for any length of time. It would get easier to walk after a few minutes but it was painful to get up and started. My feet also started swelling back up.

A month ago, (a month after starting) I had a fever similar to the one that first came upon me in early 2020.

For a long time, I thought the 2020 illness was undiagnosed Covid-19 — extreme fever, fluid lost, weakness, exhaustion, recurring. The first doctor diagnosed me with extreme bronchitis. Symptoms came and went for months until I was hospitalized in ICU for an extreme case of diabetes ketoacidosis.

The fever that laid me low last month felt very much like the early illness in 2020 which also began a month into another toxic work environment in Tucson, AZ. The similarity is what led me to begin connecting the dots to stressful, toxic work environments and people.

Luckily, I had a record of my glucose which showed I was averaging in the 120’s prior to starting the job in April. The day before my contract was terminated my morning sugar was at 200 before I ate or drank anything. That was certainly a wake-up call.

Toxicity Manifests in Your Body

Correction from video:

The medical term I messed up in the video is: Ketoacidosis

Diabetic ketoacidosis aka DKA, diabetic acidosis

A serious diabetes complication where the body produces excess blood acids (ketones).
This condition occurs when there isn’t enough insulin in the body. It can be triggered by infection or other illness.

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What I Know about Coaching

Coaching is a build-up process.

If someone is tearing you down or making you feel less-than, they are not coaching you. They are attempting to deconstruct you to better acclimate you to their nature and tolerances.

What I Know About Coaching

Criticism is not coaching

Last week, I was pulled into an impromptu meeting at 8:30am by my manager. He called it a “coaching” session, yet began by telling me I had gotten into a full-on argument with a client on the phone and was condescending, combative, and argumentative. I interjected with, “I did not argue with anyone.” He then told me I was being defensive and he wasn’t going to battle back and forth with me.

I’m rarely in the mood to be called names, but nonsense at 8:30am before coffee by someone who had none of my respect due to their lack of management skills made for a very succinct and direct rebuttal.

I didn’t appreciate having my character, personality and tone mischaracterized. Most definitely not in words commonly used to stereotype, demonize and dismiss Black Women. And absolutely not by the only Black Male manager on the open floor he was dressing me down on.

He didn’t appreciate me speaking up for myself. He actually said he was stunned at my response. Meaning he was stunned that I didn’t quietly accept what he called “criticism.”

He claimed that the caller had called back to complain. He said he had listened to the call and heard me sounding argumentative, condescending, combative and defensive. Because he seemed so surprised that my voice was calm throughout the call when he played it back for us both, I concluded that one of the white women sitting near to me flagged the call time because they took offense at my confidence (the caller had hung up while I was transferring her to a colleague). I did make comments about the call with the person I was transferring to after I realized the caller had hung up.

While the manager listened to the call for what seemed to be his first time, he said with surprise, “I agree with everything you’re saying. It’s clear she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.” However, he eventually clung to my drawling the word, “Yes.” As a very condescending inflection.

He kept asking me, “You don’t think you’re being condescending?”

I kept replying adamantly, “No, I don’t.”

I’ve been in customer service for 30 years. Birthed and bred in McDonald’s customer care where the customer is always right and when they’re not, we refer back to rule #1, smiles are free and listed as such on the menu. I matured on executive floors with extremely entitled personalities and received compliments on my professionalism, discretion and diplomacy throughout every level of service.

The only people in all these years to ever call me “defensive” are who were set on diminishing and silencing me. Managers and teachers who didn’t want to be questioned or corrected. Those who didn’t want any standouts or freethinkers in their ranks. 

The 8:30am critical “coaching” session is now viewed as a marker in my life.

Building Self

One of my favorite self-esteem boosting quotes in high school and college was, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent,” by Eleanor Roosevelt.

One of my favorite affirmations when I began Bible Study years ago was, “This is my Bible. I am who it says I am.”

There have been many times where I have simply bit my tongue to allow a conversation to end with no fuel from me. Most of those times I would ruminate on what was being said and come back the next day with a calm measured rebuttal or follow-up questions. The time I took to think was also a cool down period. For most of the last twenty years, I’ve had managers I’ve highly respected… with a job I loved at a company I wanted to stay with. It may go without saying, but I’ll say it: my former managers did not call me names. If they needed to correct behavior, they spoke their mind plainly – told me what the issue was, what my actions were and what they should have been for their desired outcome.  

If I go further back in life, there were very few points during my formative years when I spoke up for myself. I looked to my parents and elders hoping they would speak on my behalf. At an early adolescent age, I realized my parents were not interested in defending me with their words. They didn’t really value words as defense or guidance. Mostly because they stayed in scrappy survival mode.

In my early teens, I began to actively reject words people tried to forced into me. My way of rejecting at the time was telling myself I was not what they were calling me. I would then tell myself who and what I was. It was an internal process.

Back to now. Here I am in my late forties, finally speaking up in the moment, telling someone they can keep their negative words about me. All while he’s basically begging me to agree with him that I’m a difficult and unpleasant person.

Honestly, as unpleasant as the experience was, it is an absolutely amazing illustration of how the enemy cannot destroy us without our complicity. What is someone trying to get you to agree to that is counter to who you are?

He pseudo-manager fired me. Of course, he didn’t tell me directly. I got a call from my agency thirty minutes before the end of my shift. He told them the reason was because I couldn’t handle criticism. I told the rep, “That’s a lie. I literally just finished an hour of coaching with another manager who knows how to speak to people and got a good amount of guidance from him.”

That being said, I don’t think there’s been anywhere God has allowed me to stay that did not benefit my spirit. If a place is turning me dark, He cuts the cord. I always think I can hold on for my material goals, but my goals have never held any weight with His will and plan.   

Good coaching makes all-stars out of novices

I ran track and trained in field sports throughout my youth. I played basketball throughout high school and into college. I understand teams and individual performance. I appreciate coaching and training.

I started playing basketball at the age of fourteen. Prior to trying out for the freshmen squad, I had never held a basketball. I was made to feel very awkward in my skin. I was tall, skinny and often tripped over my long limbs. My family called me clumsy and uncoordinated. I believed them.

During the first two years of high school I lived with an aunt. During freshmen year, shortly after I joined the basketball team, she attended one practice game. Afterwards she told me she wasn’t going to bother coming again since I couldn’t play anyway. She never saw me improve. She never witnessed the athlete I developed into. She wasn’t a coach.

My coach didn’t believe what my aunt said I was.

My three coaches turned me into an all-star by junior year. Senior year I was co-captain of the Girls Varsity Basketball Team.

I know what good coaching will produce. Good coaching creates results previously unimaginable.

Praise God always. We don’t have to know or see anything as long as He is in charge of our lives. Give thanks and be blessed as you go.

#allihavetosay #thankyoulord #morningreflection #fired #job #woes #toxicworkplace #keepmovingforward #harvestlifer #harvestlife #joycomesinthemorning #love #peace #joy #nofucksgiven #zerofucks #unshakeable

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Poem: What First/Quoi en premier?

What First?

Quoi en premier?

What came first?

The moon or the sun;

Your stare or mine?

Did each look not blend

Seamlessly into another,

Like the sky and the sea?

Why did you lead me on

With such intensity,

Only to let me fall

Fall, fall

Slowly, clueless

Through the space

Of ignorance;

Awakened by your duplicity.

What left first?

Your interest or you;

My hope or self-respect?

Qu’est-il venu d’abord?

La lune ou le soleil?

Ton regard ou le mien?

Chaque regard se mêlant

À l’autre sans faille

Comme le font ciel et mer?

Pourquoi m’as tu conduite

Si intensément

Pour seulement me laisser tomber

Tombe, tombe

Lentement, sans même comprendre

À travers l’espace

D’ignorance ;

Réveillée par ta duplicité.

S’en allait d’abord ?

Ton intérêt ou toi-même?

Mon espoir ou ma dignité?

~ from Fantasies: Wide Awake by LaShawnda Jones

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Poem: Have I ever loved?

Who am I if not
A creature created in the
Image of love?
But what is an image
If not a facimile?
Non-original
Incapable of being
Authentic
If love is a reaction to receiveing
For we love because
We have first been loved
Then what of the love
That was supposed to pour into me?
What am I pouring out
If I haven’t first received?
In this dimension there has been no
Sheltering arms
Encouraging embrace
No partner or mate
With whom to lay down
Or to build up
What would I know
Of a gentle touch
A tender kiss
A thrusting merge
An expectant birthing
A purposed feeding?
How am I to learn
The deep nature of
Sharing in true
Relationship?
When my existence
At every level
Has been solitary
Relating to myself
Even in
Disagreement
I am right
Though my conclusions
May be wrong
If I don’t even know
What love
Looks like
Feels like
Sounds like
Smells like
Tastes like
How could I possibly
Recognize love
Identify myself
As love
Give what I haven’t
Recieved?
All these years
I thought I was offering
Though I knew I was begging
Trying to avoid my emptiness
Attempting to camouflage
My brokenness
Seeking to heal to
Wholeness
While offering my image
Of wholeness to the broken
But if love is
Absent from my being
How was I ever whole?
How was I ever able
To offer myself?

7/15/19

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Song: The Forever Now

This Is Us has been a favorite show since it premiered. The series finale aired in May 2022. This song was performed shortly before the last episode. The first chords have played at the beginning and end of every episode. It wasn’t until the final season that we got a full sing with amazingly poignant lyrics.

Listen to The Forever Now

Instrumental:

Mandy Moore episode performance:

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Poem: No Straight Lines

If life isn’t linear
Then we’ve already loved
Believing time wasted away
Waiting for what’s
already been

If love isn’t chronological
Surely there are no regrets
Deja vu confirms
What’s come and gone
Past is prologue to future’s past

Reality is never knowing you
Even as my spirit calls you home
Though we’ve only shared shy fleeting touches, my body
Flushes with memory of joys
Yet to come
How can there be certainty of tomorrow while languishing on yesterday’s dead-end paths?

If life were a straight line
Perhaps we would have missed each other in the rush to reach all the next destinations

Perhaps it’s better that we met on this long winding road and continued our separate paths

Perhaps combusting too early would’ve been mutual destruction
Fire that once consumed may now simply keep us warm
Comfortable enough to sustain life
Not enough to turn back time
Maybe we needed to learn to control passions, hopes, expectations
Maybe we needed to unlearn biases, roles and assumptions

Is that reductive reasoning?
A function of call and response?
If existence is a squiggly fifth dimensional experience
Suffering must be an element
Necessary for elevating consciousness

I see you. I feel you.
Yet you’re always out of reach
Present in mind, absent in body
Still, I am here. Where in the continuum are you?

How do we reconcile space, time, and
Waiting through choices that made
Parted ways divergent lives?

~ by LaShawnda Jones, 2022

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Quote: “Parted from me yet never parted.”

Last week’s Star Trek: Strange New Worlds used a beautiful greeting between lovers that really spoke to me. It was repurposed from the original Star Trek series, Season 2, Episode 1.

T’Pring: “Spock. It is I.”

Spock: “T’Pring. Parted from me, and never parted. Never and always touching and touched. We meet at the appointed place.”

T’Pring: “Spock. Parted from me, and never parted. Never and always touching and touched. We meet at the appointed place. I await you.”

(Star Trek, 1967; Star Trek: Strange New Worlds, 2022)

Shortly before hearing this greeting, I had written a poem with a similar theme (see next post for full poem), snippet below.

Reality is never knowing you
Even as my spirit calls you home.
Though we’ve only ever shared shy fleeting touches, my body
Flushes with memory of joys
Yet to come.
How can there be certainty of a future while languishing on a broken detoured path?

#startrek #starcrossedlovers #poem

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Is Who You Think You Are Your True Self?

Reflecting on interactions with a new co-worker.

Is who you think you are your true self? Some thoughts on the way a new co-worker is representing herself.

Things to consider:
✴️Point of origin is not final destination.
✴️Our expectations are what we look to fulfill. Reduce disappointments by changing/eliminating your expectations.
✴️You may be limiting yourself based on the limitations of your environment. Go beyond what you can see.
✴️If people or situations disturb your spirit, remain alert until you’re clear of the disturbance.
✴️You can choose to be a better version of youself every day. You are that powerful and so much more.

#whodoyousayyouare #people #woman #coworker #newjob #backtowork #systemshock #disturbedspirit #spirituality