Tag: truth

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Did I stop fighting?

All my life I had to fight. I had to fight my daddy. I had to fight my brothers. I had to fight my cousins and my uncles. A girl child ain’t safe in a family of men. But I never thought I’d have to fight in my own house.

Sophia, The Color Purple by Alice Walker

A message in season?

Tabitha Brown posted this message this morning and it gave me pause. I’ve been thinking about it all day.

“Somebody needs to hear this: You feel like life is wearing you out. Like it is literally beating you down and you feel like you’re losing. But God said you feel that way because you ain’t fighting back. You ain’t fighting back. Honey, you are letting things happen; you ain’t putting up no fight. It’s time to fight back. Ok? You can’t just letting the world and things beat you down. You got everything you need inside of you to fight back. But it right here. You gotta believe it. You gotta believe you can get up, stand up and you can fight back. Get in the fight, alright!“

It’s a lovely encouraging message and somewhat energizing. But, I’ve been done for a while. Over it. Sick and tired of everything and everybody. Siting deep in a “don’t wanna be bothered” stage. Only interested in hibernating and settling in comfort as a recluse in Hermit Ville. All while telling myself it’s only for a season. Surely once I finish my current task, I will have time, patience, and interest for interacting with people again.

Even while being honest with my mindset, heart condition and low spirit, I didn’t see myself as quitting or giving up on fighting faith’s continuous battle. But truthfully how can one still fight when they’ve laid down their arms and energy?

For two years, I’ve been trudging along in a space I didn’t plan on being in for any extended period. For five years, I’ve been attempting to rewrite my life and change its trajectory. Only to seemingly end up worse off than when I started.

Transformation isn’t linear

Currently, nothing in my life is as I want it or as I envisioned it. Yet three years ago, I was content in a happy place. Living in peaceful tranquility in a home I built in the most beautiful mountain setting I could imagine. It’s the hurt of my life that I allowed unhinged serpents to taint my garden, yet again, and run me out of my promised land. I had claimed my land of milk and honey and let it go in fear. Like Elijah running from Jezebel, I too sought refuge in the wilderness of a country that provides no safe places. I too, have been struggling to hear God’s whisper in the furious thunder of storms, fires and the quakes of fear, uncertainty and self-doubt. Is it here that I fight, Father? Or here that I stand? Is it time to move forward or time to sit still. Do I speak now or remain quiet. Am I embracing or pushing away? The sunlight is warm but the shadows bring comfort.

Great faith doesn’t save you from exhaustion and self-doubt. Yet holding on to be rescued by the nourishing provision and gentle reminders of our Creator gives make the bout of doubt worthwhile.

Who am I that the King of the world
Would give one single thought about my broken heart?
Who am I that the God of all grace
Wipes the tears from my face and says, “Come as you are”?

me on Your Mind, Matthew West

The neighbor that ran me out of my home, bragged about pulling his gun on people in public spaces. He bragged about making calls to the White House in such volume and vitriol that the Secret Service sent the local sheriff to give him a warning. He incited a mob of neighbors against me and planned on burning my home down because I was “doing too much” to enhance my property. I found out because he offered to relocate my Air BnB guests to a hotel so they wouldn’t be harmed. how do you fight that level of demented evil? How do you combat the psychosis of someone who wants to destroy what you have simply because they don’t want you to have it? The only way to fight on that level is to get on that level. To willingly taint my heart, mind and spirit with the evil intent to cause equal harm.

I haven’t stopped fighting simply because I just don’t want to fight anymore. I stopped from exhaustion. All of life has been a fight with no sustained reward. And the viciousness of the enemy is nothing I can, or am willing to, match.

For a couple of months I was willing to do that. My first response was to hit back. Restraining order. Told him to mind his business. Stay off my property. Don’t talk to my guests. What I left unsaid to him was: any fire that burns my house down was going to burn his as well. I imagined getting a gun – I deplore guns. I envisioned shoot-outs at my front door and wondered if I would be able to able to get shots off from bed if he and his cronies burst through my doors and windows in the middle of the night.

After months of not sleeping through the night, anticipating fire and other hate-filled assaults, I acknowledged eating vitriol and vengeance didn’t do my body, mind or spirit any good. Soon after, I decided to sell my house. My refuge in the wilderness of the world was no longer a peaceful or tranquil space.

I’m a observer, not a fighter

Last year, my first long-term temp job in years, fired me following a performance discussion filled with racist and sexist commentary. My first reaction, after filming a couple of outraged videos was to contact EEOC. I had documented months of racist comments that I had spoken to my agency about. The EEOC representative outlined the complaint process as taking many months. I didn’t have it in me to fight for a job I didn’t want and was happy to be rid of. Not fighting back was becoming a default way for me.

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength
I don’t have to be strong enough

Strong Enough, Matthew West

However, that doesn’t mean I’m not protecting myself in other ways. Conditioning and preparation are helpful in future battles. Though I didn’t do any gun training in Arizona, getting a license to carry was one of the first things I did my first summer back in Wisconsin, months after selling my mountain home. Nearly two years in, I still haven’t held a gun or made it a range; getting used to the idea of holding such a weapon requires time to process. I’ve been on my third long-term temp assignment for the last five months at an elementary school and I’ve been an astute observer of casual racism and unconscious bias. I haven’t alerted anyone to it. I’m done with confrontation as well. It’s interesting to me to have experienced the threat of a lynch mob in a near retirement community followed by observing the racially skewed conditioning of elementary students in an urban environment.

Although my first reaction to life’s egregious situations is outrage and umbrage, my gifts and positioning lie in observation and storytelling. So as much as the conditioned fighter in me wants to rise up and kick ass, I recognize that I am not called to be like David, God’s warrior king.

Pilate retorted. “Your own people and their leading priests brought you to me for trial. Why? What have you done?”

Jesus answered, “My Kingdom is not an earthly kingdom. If it were, my followers would fight to keep me from being handed over to the Jewish leaders. But my Kingdom is not of this world.”

Pilate said, “So you are a king?”

Jesus responded, “You say I am a king. Actually, I was born and came into the world to testify to the truth. All who love the truth recognize that what I say is true.”

John 18:35-37

Unexpected invitation

A couple of hours after Tabitha Brown’s message sparked and challenged me, I received a text from an unknown number inviting me to a Matthew West concert that night. I don’t normally respond to unknown numbers, but an old friend had been trying to connect me with another of her friends who had recently returned Milwaukee. The mutual friend had suggested we go a Tauren Wells concert a couple of weeks ago. There had been a whole email chain I had been months late to seeing and responding to so I texted the woman to make contact once I caught up. That concert came and went with no reply to my text, so I left it alone.

It crossed my mind that the unknown number could be the person trying to connect with me for several months. I replied that I didn’t know the number and asked who they were looking for. She identified herself as the person our mutual friend had been trying to connect me with. I had already committed to staying in the house all day, but because I had been so difficult to connect with, I accepted the invitation after a bit of back and forth.

Been a hard season, it’s been a broken road
All the dreams I was dreaming, they went up in smoke
But I keep on believing there is a reason for this hard season

Hard season, Matthew West

Nourishing reminder

The concert was refreshing and revitalizing. It was the first social event I’ve shared with anyone since returning to Milwaukee two years ago. Basically, I needed it. Towards the end of the concert, I began writing this post. Something about being immersed in creative and testimonial spaces saturates me into overflowing.

I needed to be reminded of the promises of God. I needed to hear a storyteller share his and others testimonies. I needed to remember that the power of my tongue is not in silence, it’s in speaking truth which gives life. Perhaps I needed an outline of how observation and storytelling are indeed forms of fighting for Believers. The wisdom of song, storytelling and testimony provide much needed encouragement and vigor to those who must endure. I haven’t given myself credit for the endurance of standing.

Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.

Ephesians 6:13-18

The ways of the world will twist and toss us about in reckless heaps. Reconciling what you know in your spirit with the visceral reactions of your flesh is a battle that keeps us off-balance throughout life. A survival trick is to remember the flesh and spirit are naturally in opposition, but flesh can be conditioned to align with the spirit.

Still standing and testifying

When we’re under attack, we want to retaliate in the flesh, but the best tactical response is collecting the information of the experience to enrich our testimony. Every day we’re on this earth is another day of survival we can talk about. To paraphrase Tabitha Brown, just because the world and things are beating us down, doesn’t mean we have to stay down. Unlike my initial understanding of her message, we don’t have to get our licks back. Life doesn’t have to be tit for tat. We can learn to let the evildoers do what they do without rushing our response or testimony. We can choose to allow our shoes of peace to carry us to places where the Good News of our testimony will be well received.

For the accuser of our brothers and sisters
    has been thrown down to earth—
the one who accuses them
    before our God day and night.
And they have defeated him by the blood of the Lamb
    and by their testimony.
And they did not love their lives so much
    that they were afraid to die.

Revelation 12:10-11
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ACAD – Give Grace: John 1

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came into being through him, and without him not one thing came into being. What has come into being in him was life,[a] and the life was the light of all people. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overtake it.

There was a man sent from God whose name was John. He came as a witness to testify to the light, so that all might believe through him. He himself was not the light, but he came to testify to the light. The true light, which enlightens everyone, was coming into the world.[b]

He was in the world, and the world came into being through him, yet the world did not know him. He came to what was his own,[c] and his own people did not accept him. But to all who received him, who believed in his name, he gave power to become children of God, who were born, not of blood or of the will of the flesh or of the will of man, but of God.

And the Word became flesh and lived among us, and we have seen his glory, the glory as of a father’s only son,[d] full of grace and truth. (John testified to him and cried out, “This was he of whom I said, ‘He who comes after me ranks ahead of me because he was before me.’ ”) From his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.[e] The law indeed was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God. It is the only Son, himself God, who[f] is close to the Father’s heart,[g] who has made him known.

This is the testimony given by John when the Jews sent priests and Levites from Jerusalem to ask him, “Who are you?” He confessed and did not deny it, but he confessed, “I am not the Messiah.”[h] And they asked him, “What then? Are you Elijah?” He said, “I am not.” “Are you the prophet?” He answered, “No.” Then they said to him, “Who are you? Let us have an answer for those who sent us. What do you say about yourself?” He said,

“I am the voice of one crying out in the wilderness, ‘Make straight the way of the Lord,’” as the prophet Isaiah said.

Now they had been sent from the Pharisees. They asked him, “Why, then, are you baptizing if you are neither the Messiah,[i] nor Elijah, nor the prophet?” John answered them, “I baptize with water. Among you stands one whom you do not know, the one who is coming after me; I am not worthy to untie the strap of his sandal.” This took place in Bethany across the Jordan where John was baptizing.

The next day he saw Jesus coming toward him and declared, “Here is the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world! This is he of whom I said, ‘After me comes a man who ranks ahead of me because he was before me.’ I myself did not know him, but I came baptizing with water for this reason, that he might be revealed to Israel.” And John testified, “I saw the Spirit descending from heaven like a dove, and it remained on him. I myself did not know him, but the one who sent me to baptize with water said to me, ‘He on whom you see the Spirit descend and remain is the one who baptizes with the Holy Spirit.’ And I myself have seen and have testified that this is the Chosen One.”[j]

The next day John again was standing with two of his disciples, and as he watched Jesus walk by he exclaimed, “Look, here is the Lamb of God!” The two disciples heard him say this, and they followed Jesus. When Jesus turned and saw them following, he said to them, “What are you looking for?” They said to him, “Rabbi” (which translated means Teacher), “where are you staying?” He said to them, “Come and see.” They came and saw where he was staying, and they remained with him that day. It was about four o’clock in the afternoon. One of the two who heard John speak and followed him was Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother. He first found his brother Simon and said to him, “We have found the Messiah” (which is translated Anointed[k]). He brought Simon[l] to Jesus, who looked at him and said, “You are Simon son of John. You are to be called Cephas”[m] (which is translated Peter[n]).

The next day Jesus decided to go to Galilee. He found Philip and said to him, “Follow me.” Now Philip was from Bethsaida, the city of Andrew and Peter. Philip found Nathanael and said to him, “We have found him about whom Moses in the Law and also the Prophets wrote, Jesus son of Joseph from Nazareth.” Nathanael said to him, “Can anything good come out of Nazareth?” Philip said to him, “Come and see.” When Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward him, he said of him, “Here is truly an Israelite in whom there is no deceit!” Nathanael asked him, “Where did you get to know me?” Jesus answered, “I saw you under the fig tree before Philip called you.” Nathanael replied, “Rabbi, you are the Son of God! You are the King of Israel!” Jesus answered, “Do you believe because I told you that I saw you under the fig tree? You will see greater things than these.” And he said to him, “Very truly, I tell you,[o] you will see heaven opened and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of Man.”

New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition
Footnotes
a.1.4 Or through him. And without him not one thing came into being that has come into being. In him was life
b.1.9 Or He was the true light that enlightens everyone coming into the world
c.1.11 Or to his own home
d.1.14 Or the Father’s only Son
e.1.16 Or grace in place of grace
f.1.18 Other ancient authorities read is the only Son who
g.1.18 Gk bosom
h.1.20 Or the Christ
i.1.25 Or the Christ
j.1.34 Other ancient authorities read the Son of God
k.1.41 Or Christ
l.1.42 Gk him
m.1.42 Aramaic for rock
n.1.42 Greek for rock
o.1.51 Both instances of you in 1.51 are plural in Greek
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ACAD – Women & Truth: 1 Esdras 4

[About Esdras: First Book of Esdras, also called Greek Ezra, abbreviation I Esdras, apocryphal work that was included in the canon of the Septuagint (the Greek version of the Hebrew Bible) but is not part of any modern biblical canon; it is called Greek Ezra by modern scholars to distinguish it from the Old Testament Book of Ezra written in Hebrew. Originally written in Aramaic or Hebrew, I Esdras has survived only in Greek and in a Latin translation made from the Greek.]

Then the second, who had spoken of the strength of the king, began to speak: “Gentlemen, are not men strongest, who rule over land and sea and all that is in them? But the king is stronger; he is their lord and master, and whatever he says to them they obey. If he tells them to make war on one another, they do it, and if he sends them out against the enemy, they go and conquer mountains, walls, and towers. They kill and are killed and do not disobey the king’s command; if they win the victory, they bring everything to the king—whatever spoil they take and everything else. Likewise those who do not serve in the army or make war but till the soil; whenever they sow and reap, they bring some to the king, and they compel one another to pay taxes to the king. And yet he is only one man! If he tells them to kill, they kill; if he tells them to release, they release; if he tells them to attack, they attack; if he tells them to lay waste, they lay waste; if he tells them to build, they build; if he tells them to cut down, they cut down; if he tells them to plant, they plant. All his people and his armies obey him. Furthermore, he reclines, he eats and drinks and sleeps, but they keep watch around him, and no one may go away to attend to his own affairs, nor do they disobey him. Gentlemen, why is not the king the strongest, since he is to be obeyed in this fashion?” And he stopped speaking.

Then the third, who had spoken of women and truth (and this was Zerubbabel), began to speak: “Gentlemen, is not the king great, and are not men many, and is not wine strong? Who is it, then, who rules them or has the mastery over them? Is it not women? Women gave birth to the king and to every people that rules over sea and land. From women they came, and women brought up the very men who plant the vineyards from which comes wine. Women make men’s clothes; they bring men glory; men cannot exist without women. If men gather gold and silver or any other beautiful thing and then see a woman lovely in appearance and beauty, they let all those things go and gape at her and with open mouths stare at her, and all prefer her to gold or silver or any other beautiful thing. A man leaves his own father, who brought him up, and his own region and clings to his wife. With his wife he ends his days, with no thought of his father or his mother or his region. Therefore you must realize that women rule over you!

“Do you not labor and toil and bring everything and give it to women? A man takes his sword and goes out to travel and rob and steal and to sail the sea and rivers; he faces lions, and he walks in darkness, and when he steals and robs and plunders, he brings it back to the woman he loves. A man loves his wife more than his father or his mother. Many men have lost their minds because of women and have become slaves because of them. Many have perished or stumbled or sinned because of women. And now do you not believe me?

“Is not the king great in his authority? Do not all lands fear to touch him? Yet I have seen him with Apame, the king’s concubine, the daughter of the illustrious Bartacus; she would sit at the king’s right hand and take the crown from the king’s head and put it on her own and slap the king with her left hand. At this the king would gaze at her with mouth agape. If she smiles at him, he laughs; if she loses her temper with him, he flatters her, so that she may be reconciled to him. Gentlemen, why are not women strong, since they do such things?”

Then the king and the nobles looked at one another, and he began to speak about truth: “Gentlemen, are not women strong? The earth is vast, and heaven is high, and the sun is swift in its course, for it makes the circuit of the heavens and returns to its place in one day. Is not the one who does these things great? But truth is great and stronger than all things. The whole earth calls upon truth, and heaven blesses it. All the works quake and tremble, and with it[a] there is nothing unrighteous. Wine is unrighteous; the king is unrighteous; women are unrighteous; all humans are unrighteous; all their works are unrighteous and all such things. There is no truth in them, and in their unrighteousness they will perish. But truth endures and is strong forever and lives and prevails forever and ever. With it there is no partiality or preference, but it does what is righteous instead of anything that is unrighteous or wicked. Everyone approves its deeds, and there is nothing unrighteous in its judgment. To it belongs the strength and the kingship and the power and the majesty of all the ages. Blessed be the God of truth!” When he stopped speaking, all the people shouted and said, “Great is truth and strongest of all!”

Then the king said to Zerubbabel,[b] “Ask what you wish, even beyond what is written, and we will give it to you, for you have been found to be the wisest. You shall sit next to me and be called my Kinsman.” Then he said to the king, “Remember the vow that you made on the day when you became king, to build Jerusalem and to send back all the vessels that were taken from Jerusalem, which Cyrus set apart when he began[c] to destroy Babylon and vowed to send them back there. You also vowed to build the temple, which the Edomites burned when Judea was laid waste by the Chaldeans. And now, O lord the king, this is what I ask and request of you, and this befits your greatness. I pray, therefore, that you fulfill the vow whose fulfillment you vowed to the King of heaven with your own lips.”

Then King Darius got up and kissed him and wrote letters for him to all the treasurers and governors and generals and satraps, that they should give safe conduct to him and to all who were going up with him to build Jerusalem. And he wrote letters to all the governors in Coelesyria and Phoenicia and to those in Lebanon, to bring cedar timber from Lebanon to Jerusalem and to help him build the city. He wrote in behalf of all the Jews who were going up from his kingdom to Judea, in the interest of their freedom, that no officer or satrap or governor or treasurer should forcibly enter their doors; that all the region that they would occupy should be theirs without tribute; that the Idumeans should give up the villages of the Jews that they held; that twenty talents a year should be given for the building of the temple until it was completed and an additional ten talents a year for burnt offerings to be offered on the altar every day, in accordance with the commandment to make seventeen offerings; and that all who came from Babylonia to build the city should have their freedom, they and their children and all the priests who came. He wrote also concerning their support and the priests’ vestments in which they were to minister. He wrote that the support for the Levites should be provided until the day when the temple would be finished and Jerusalem built. He wrote that land and wages should be provided for all who guarded the city. And he sent back from Babylon all the vessels that Cyrus had set apart; everything that Cyrus had ordered to be done, he also commanded to be done and to be sent to Jerusalem.

When the young man went out, he lifted up his face to heaven toward Jerusalem and praised the King of heaven, saying, “From you comes the victory; from you comes wisdom, and yours is the glory. I am your servant. Blessed are you, who have given me wisdom; I give you thanks, O Lord of our ancestors.”

So he took the letters and went to Babylon and told this to all his kindred. And they praised the God of their ancestors because he had given them freedom and permission to go up and build Jerusalem and the temple that is called by his name, and they feasted, with music and rejoicing, for seven days.

Footnotes
4.36 That is, heaven
4.42 Gk him
4.44 Cn: Gk vowed
[Note: The books from 1 Esdras through 3 Maccabees are recognized as Deuterocanonical Scripture by the Greek and the Russian Orthodox Churches. They are not so recognized by the Roman Catholic Church, but 1 Esdras and the Prayer of Manasseh (together with 2 Esdras) are placed in an appendix to the Latin Vulgate Bible.]
Resource: BibleGateway.com, New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition
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ACAD – Women & Truth: 1 Esdras 3

Now King Darius gave a great banquet for all who were under him, all who were born in his house, and all the nobles of Media and Persia, and all the satraps and generals and governors who were under him in the hundred twenty-seven satrapies from India to Ethiopia. They ate and drank, and when they were satisfied they went away, and King Darius went to his bedroom; he went to sleep but woke up again.

Then the three young men of the bodyguard who kept guard over the person of the king said to one another, “Let each of us state what one word is strongest, and to the one whose statement seems wisest, King Darius will give rich gifts and great honors of victory. He shall be clothed in purple and drink from gold cups and sleep on a gold bed[a] and have a chariot with gold bridles and a turban of fine linen and a necklace around his neck, and because of his wisdom he shall sit next to Darius and shall be called Kinsman of Darius.”

Then each bodyguard wrote his own statement, and they sealed them and put them under the pillow of King Darius and said, “When the king wakes, they will give him the writing, and to the one whose statement the king and the three nobles of Persia judge to be wisest the victory shall be given according to what is written.” The first wrote, “Wine is strongest.” The second wrote, “The king is strongest.” The third wrote, “Women are strongest, but above all things truth is victor.”[b]

When the king awoke, they took the writing and gave it to him, and he read it. Then he sent and summoned all the nobles of Persia and Media and the satraps and generals and governors and prefects, and he took his seat in the council chamber, and the writing was read in their presence. He said, “Call the young men, and they shall explain their statements.” So they were summoned and came in. They said to them, “Explain to us what you have written.”

Then the first, who had spoken of the strength of wine, began and said: “Gentlemen, how is wine the strongest? It leads astray the minds of all who drink it. It makes equal the mind of the king and the orphan, of the slave and the free, of the poor and the rich. It turns every thought to feasting and gladness and forgets all sorrow and debt. It makes all hearts feel rich, forgets kings and satraps, and makes everyone talk of extravagant sums.[c] When people drink they forget to be friendly with friends and kindred, and before long they draw their swords. And when they recover from the wine, they do not remember what they have done. Gentlemen, is not wine the strongest, since it forces people to do these things?” When he had said this, he stopped speaking.

Footnotes
3.6 Gk on gold
3.12 Or but truth triumphs over all things
3.20 Gk talents

[Note: The books from 1 Esdras through 3 Maccabees are recognized as Deuterocanonical Scripture by the Greek and the Russian Orthodox Churches. They are not so recognized by the Roman Catholic Church, but 1 Esdras and the Prayer of Manasseh (together with 2 Esdras) are placed in an appendix to the Latin Vulgate Bible.]

Resource: BibleGateway.com, New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition

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Kingdom of Heaven (ACAD: Matthew 23)

Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples, “The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses’ seat; therefore, do whatever they teach you and follow it; but do not do as they do, for they do not practice what they teach. They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on the shoulders of others; but they themselves are unwilling to lift a finger to move them. They do all their deeds to be seen by others; for they make their phylacteries broad and their fringes long. They love to have the place of honor at banquets and the best seats in the synagogues, and to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces, and to have people call them rabbi. But you are not to be called rabbi, for you have one teacher, and you are all students. And call no one your father on earth, for you have one Father—the one in heaven. Nor are you to be called instructors, for you have one instructor, the Messiah. The greatest among you will be your servant. All who exalt themselves will be humbled, and all who humble themselves will be exalted.

“But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you lock people out of the kingdom of heaven. For you do not go in yourselves, and when others are going in, you stop them. Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you cross sea and land to make a single convert, and you make the new convert twice as much a child of hell as yourselves.

“Woe to you, blind guides, who say, ‘Whoever swears by the sanctuary is bound by nothing, but whoever swears by the gold of the sanctuary is bound by the oath.’ You blind fools! For which is greater, the gold or the sanctuary that has made the gold sacred? And you say, ‘Whoever swears by the altar is bound by nothing, but whoever swears by the gift that is on the altar is bound by the oath.’ How blind you are! For which is greater, the gift or the altar that makes the gift sacred? So whoever swears by the altar, swears by it and by everything on it; and whoever swears by the sanctuary, swears by it and by the one who dwells in it; and whoever swears by heaven, swears by the throne of God and by the one who is seated upon it. “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe mint, dill, and cummin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faith. It is these you ought to have practiced without neglecting the others. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel!

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and of the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. You blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup, so that the outside also may become clean.

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs, which on the outside look beautiful, but inside they are full of the bones of the dead and of all kinds of filth. So you also on the outside look righteous to others, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you build the tombs of the prophets and decorate the graves of the righteous, and you say, ‘If we had lived in the days of our ancestors, we would not have taken part with them in shedding the blood of the prophets.’ Thus you testify against yourselves that you are descendants of those who murdered the prophets. Fill up, then, the measure of your ancestors. You snakes, you brood of vipers! How can you escape being sentenced to hell? Therefore I send you prophets, sages, and scribes, some of whom you will kill and crucify, and some you will flog in your synagogues and pursue from town to town, so that upon you may come all the righteous blood shed on earth, from the blood of righteous Abel to the blood of Zechariah son of Barachiah, whom you murdered between the sanctuary and the altar. Truly I tell you, all this will come upon this generation.

“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often have I desired to gather your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you were not willing! See, your house is left to you, desolate. For I tell you, you will not see me again until you say, ‘Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord.’”

Matthew 23:1-13,15-39 – https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Matthew%2023:1-13,15-39&version=NRSV

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Video MR 2.1: Divorce, Truth & Love

Video part 2.1 of the Marriage & Relationship series is the first part of the first recorded discussion. Though we don’t get into discussing the focus couples during this portion, a question about divorce leads to a mini sermon on love after truth is alleged to be the greater relationship building block. Take a listen. Share your thoughts in the comments.

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Stork Delivery, Part 3: A Tree & Its Fruit

A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will know them by their fruits.   ~ Matthew 7:18-20

I ruminated on Youngin’s words and actions for perhaps a month after her departure. I thought about the two sit-down conversations I had initiated to clarify expectations and understandings for both of us during her four weeks in my home. After our second sit-down, I couldn’t stop thinking how much she is like her grandmother, who is the hateful aunt from my youth. Fortunately for me, I remember my lessons well. I learned how to deal with my aunt by marriage as a child. I remember how she claimed to be such a good friend of my mother’s (their husbands were brothers). I remember how my mother saw her as a friend and sister. Yet when I saw that “aunt” for the first time in a decade months after my mother died, all she did was desecrate my mother’s memory, her beauty and her marriage. Before I completely lost my cool, I reminded her that my mother loved her like a sister and had never spoke an ill word against her – even when she spoke ill to me. As I got up to leave, I said, “I’m not going to sit here and listen to you disrespect my mother whom I just buried.” I may have made reference to her own abusive marriage and how she was projecting her flaws onto my mother. In fact, I’m sure I did. She called me out my name and it was pretty much about to go down from there. Lucky for her, her sister stepped in and kicked me out.

My grief over losing my mother  had weakened and overwhelmed me to the point that I had foolishly accepted an invitation from Big Cuz to move to Arizona to be close to her family for emotional support. Big Cuz had come to Milwaukee, where I lived at the time, in an effort to provide moral support. She couldn’t handle the cold and couldn’t manage life without her super large extended family in close proximity. Her effort for me made me want to make an effort for her. So I packed up and moved across the country ill-prepared. With the intention of depending on people who had only ever been destructive towards me.

In hindsight, I see the aunt’s attack as a targeted attack. I was already doing well in life… for my roots. I was twenty-one with no children, was working on my bachelor’s degree and supporting myself as an assistant restaurant manager. That wasn’t supposed to be my life. I was the no-good, too-black, too-ugly, too-skinny, too-stupid, can’t-talk-right niece that would never amount to anything. Nothing like her perfect, light skinned, beautiful, well-formed, super smart daughter, Big Cuz, who had dropped out of high school and had two kids by this time, no steady employment and was only focused on men, drinking and the next party.

Without any spiritual understanding at the time, this aunt provided my first spiritual lesson on the power of our words. As a teen I would reference her as a person who only spoke evil into me, yet every word she spoke against me manifested in her daughter’s life. That’s probably the main reason I have compassion for my cousin. Big Cuz has lived her mother’s words, self-hatred, and repression all her life and perhaps remain unaware of how profoundly she’s been impacted by her mother’s bitterness. This is also why I do my best not to speak ill of anyone. I have no desire for my words to ricochet off of them and enter the generations that birth from me. The one thing I have been the most purposeful about has been breaking the chains of bondage, or generational curses, attached to my bloodline and life. There are things that occur in families that people assume are natural or just the way things are. I’ve looked at thought patterns, actions and behaviors within my family networks and sourced them to symptoms, root causes and conditioning.

Everything begins with the way we think. Yet it is not practical to attack other people’s thoughts. However, we can confront and attack our own way of thinking. In that way we can prune our own lives at the root. Our thinking projects our reality and from that we perceive what is possible for us in our lives. We can cultivate fantastic lives just by cultivating our thoughts.

We can hold our thoughts up to a greater truth. For me today, that Truth is the Word of God. In my youth, that truth was what I thought of myself – or who I knew myself to be.

The way I began changing my life was by holding the painful destructive things up to who I know I am and who I saw myself becoming. If someone’s words about me did not align with what I knew to be true about me, I rejected it. When I began to study the Bible in my thirties, I dove deeper and began pulling up things festering under the surface of self. The things I pulled up where held up to the light and sat next to the things the Word of God said about me. Everything I pulled from the darkness inside me burned up in the light. There was no substance to it. No truth. The footholds began to fall away from my life.

On the surface, the interactions I had with Youngin’ may appear to be small and inconsequential, however, the test is always in the spirit.

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.  ~ Ephesians 6:12-13

What I know to be true of myself and where I was in the moment Youngin’ arrived on my doorstep, was a downward spiral of deepening apathy. I was over everything. Nothing held any interest for me. I was tired of living alone and tired of being alone. Completely exhausted and discouraged with my solitary existence. Yet I was channeling all my remaining energy into changing my whole life so I could be better positioned to receive a partner and a family. Life transformation is a slow moving wheel. My accumulated disappointments fermented into depression. I had stopped nurturing my job. I no longer enjoyed my home in New York City. Traveling, the longest most constant love of my life, had become a boring chore. How did that happen? Everything that had been a source of passion and excitement in my life had dried up. My thinking began to change. I can’t pinpoint any particular thought moment, but going to church was no longer a priority. Listening to sermons I missed no longer interested me. I stopped checking on the people who stopped checking on me. I stopped caring about things I had no control over or was not impacted by. I didn’t want to want anything. Life had become a big blah and I felt like a wisp floating on the wind waiting to land in my final resting spot. Can’t I be done now, Father? I’m so over all of this.

Then a 22 year old relative catapulted into my life and sparked all the dormant instincts and urges I had come to believe would disappear from the earth with no one benefiting from them. The most prominent was my need to love. Instantly, even as I protested the no-warning drop-in, I thanked God for finally sending me someone to love. I had been telling Him for years that I would welcome whomever He sent to my door. The table He provided for me would be their table. That prayer began in 2013 when I bought my apartment and purchased the largest dining table I could fit in the space with very comfortable seating. At the time, my prayer was for a husband and Bible study group to share the space with. A few years later, a disrespectful young relative showed up. I was ready to embrace her flaws and all. I was willing to wrestle with her and nurture her into the light.

Until I noticed how she was actually inching me further away from the bit of light I was clinging to. Oddly, one of her regular complaints about me was that I kept challenging her. An interesting word choice since she was the adversary in my home opposing my life. Perhaps what she really wanted to know was, “Why was I resisting her?”

During our first sit-down conversation to discuss expectations and understanding, I decided I had to be vocal about the love I have for myself, my God and the work He has performed in my life. I had to actively protect my blessings and declare them off limits for encroachment. From the seat of my truth, I could see how Youngin’ was running from wisdom and the Word when she avoided me and attacked my character. It was clear she was not interested in building or having a relationship with me. She vehemently and viciously took advantage of, then rejected, me, my love, my hospitality and my lifestyle.

This realization did not hurt. The act of dealing with Youngin’ shocked me into revival. But when confronted with her departure, my shoulders gently shrugged upwards and eased down again. I let go – mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Trying to hold on to her while she was holding on to everything I’ve already let go of, would’ve kept all that baggage in my life. I’ve come too far to turn back now. I will not risk my true life for someone who doesn’t know enough to recognize love when she’s sitting in the midst of it.

Youngin’, like her grandmother, was one of the best and most effective haters in my life. The lessons they provided on the nature of people and the spirit in the world are not things that can be fully appreciated via Bible text. They are best received as on-the-job-training. For being such excellent trainers throughout my spiritual journey, I remain grateful to them both.

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Devotional: Prayer for His People

Prayer for His People: John 17:6-19
Read

“During my time here, I protected them by the power of the name you gave me. I guarded them so that not one was lost, except the one headed for destruction, as the Scriptures foretold.” “Now I am coming to you. I told them many things while I was with them in this world so they would be filled with my joy. I have given them your word. And the world hates them because they do not belong to the world, just as I do not belong to the world. I’m not asking you to take them out of the world, but to keep them safe from the evil one. They do not belong to this world any more than I do. Make them holy by your truth; teach them your word, which is truth. Just as you sent me into the world, I am sending them into the world. And I give myself as a holy sacrifice for them so they can be made holy by your truth.” (John 17:12-19)
 
Reflect

The world hates Christians because Christians’ values differ from those of the world. Because Christ’s followers don’t cooperate with the world by joining in their sin, they are living accusations against the world’s immorality. The world follows Satan’s agenda, and Satan is the avowed enemy of Jesus and his people. Jesus didn’t ask God to take believers out of the world but instead to use them in the world. Because Jesus sends us into the world, we should not try to escape from the world, nor should we avoid all relationships with non-Christians. We are called to be salt and light (Matthew 5:13-16), and we are to do the work that God sent us to do. A follower of Christ becomes set apart through believing and obeying the Word of God (Hebrews 4:12). He or she has already accepted forgiveness through Christ’s sacrificial death (Hebrews 7:26-27). But daily application of God’s Word has a purifying effect on our minds and hearts. Scripture points out sin, motivates us to confess, renews our relationship with Christ, and guides us back to the right path.
 
Respond

Jesus prayed, “Make them holy by your truth; teach them your word, which is truth” (John 17:17). You can pray that prayer for yourself or someone else. In what ways has God already revealed his truth through his Word? How has his Word helped shape your priorities and purpose?
 
Source: Life Application Study Bible, October 26, 2016

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ACAD – Rejected: Numbers 14

The People Rebel

Then all the congregation raised a loud cry, and the people wept that night. And all the Israelites complained against Moses and Aaron; the whole congregation said to them, “Would that we had died in the land of Egypt! Or would that we had died in this wilderness! Why is the Lord bringing us into this land to fall by the sword? Our wives and our little ones will become booty; would it not be better for us to go back to Egypt?” So they said to one another, “Let us choose a captain, and go back to Egypt.”

Then Moses and Aaron fell on their faces before all the assembly of the congregation of the Israelites. And Joshua son of Nun and Caleb son of Jephunneh, who were among those who had spied out the land, tore their clothes  and said to all the congregation of the Israelites, “The land that we went through as spies is an exceedingly good land. If the Lord is pleased with us, he will bring us into this land and give it to us, a land that flows with milk and honey. Only, do not rebel against the Lord; and do not fear the people of the land, for they are no more than bread for us; their protection is removed from them, and the Lord is with us; do not fear them.” But the whole congregation threatened to stone them.

Then the glory of the Lord appeared at the tent of meeting to all the Israelites. And the Lord said to Moses, “How long will this people despise me? And how long will they refuse to believe in me, in spite of all the signs that I have done among them? I will strike them with pestilence and disinherit them, and I will make of you a nation greater and mightier than they.”

Moses Intercedes for the People

But Moses said to the Lord, “Then the Egyptians will hear of it, for in your might you brought up this people from among them, and they will tell the inhabitants of this land. They have heard that you, O Lord, are in the midst of this people; for you, O Lord, are seen face to face, and your cloud stands over them and you go in front of them, in a pillar of cloud by day and in a pillar of fire by night. Now if you kill this people all at one time, then the nations who have heard about you will say, ‘It is because the Lord was not able to bring this people into the land he swore to give them that he has slaughtered them in the wilderness.’ And now, therefore, let the power of the Lord be great in the way that you promised when you spoke, saying,

‘The Lord is slow to anger,
and abounding in steadfast love,
forgiving iniquity and transgression,
but by no means clearing the guilty,
visiting the iniquity of the parents
upon the children
to the third and the fourth generation.’

Forgive the iniquity of this people according to the greatness of your steadfast love, just as you have pardoned this people, from Egypt even until now.”

Then the Lord said, “I do forgive, just as you have asked; nevertheless — as I live, and as all the earth shall be filled with the glory of the Lord — none of the people who have seen my glory and the signs that I did in Egypt and in the wilderness, and yet have tested me these ten times and have not obeyed my voice, shall see the land that I swore to give to their ancestors; none of those who despised me shall see it. But my servant Caleb, because he has a different spirit and has followed me wholeheartedly, I will bring into the land into which he went, and his descendants shall possess it. Now, since the Amalekites and the Canaanites live in the valleys, turn tomorrow and set out for the wilderness by the way to the Red Sea.”[a]

An Attempted Invasion is Repulsed

And the Lord spoke to Moses and to Aaron, saying: How long shall this wicked congregation complain against me? I have heard the complaints of the Israelites, which they complain against me. Say to them, “As I live,” says the Lord, “I will do to you the very things I heard you say: your dead bodies shall fall in this very wilderness; and of all your number, included in the census, from twenty years old and upward, who have complained against me, not one of you shall come into the land in which I swore to settle you, except Caleb son of Jephunneh and Joshua son of Nun. And your children shall be shepherds in the wilderness for forty years, and shall suffer for your faithlessness, until the last of your dead bodies lies in the wilderness. According to the number of the days in which you spied out the land, forty days, for every day a year, you shall bear your iniquity, forty years, and you shall know my displeasure.” I the Lord have spoken; surely I will do thus to all this wicked congregation gathered together against me: in this wilderness they shall come to a full end, and there they shall die.

And the men whom Moses sent to spy out the land, who returned and made all the congregation complain against him by bringing a bad report about the land— the men who brought an unfavorable report about the land died by a plague before the Lord. But Joshua son of Nun and Caleb son of Jephunneh alone remained alive, of those men who went to spy out the land.

When Moses told these words to all the Israelites, the people mourned greatly. They rose early in the morning and went up to the heights of the hill country, saying, “Here we are. We will go up to the place that the Lord has promised, for we have sinned.” But Moses said, “Why do you continue to transgress the command of the Lord? That will not succeed. Do not go up, for the Lord is not with you; do not let yourselves be struck down before your enemies. For the Amalekites and the Canaanites will confront you there, and you shall fall by the sword; because you have turned back from following the Lord, the Lord will not be with you.” But they presumed to go up to the heights of the hill country, even though the ark of the covenant of the Lord, and Moses, had not left the camp.Then the Amalekites and the Canaanites who lived in that hill country came down and defeated them, pursuing them as far as Hormah.

Footnotes:

  1. Numbers 14:25 Or Sea of Reeds

New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)New Revised Standard Version Bible, copyright © 1989 the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.