Tag: unity

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Beach Day: Ebb and Flow of Life

Every year, for as long as I can remember, I’ve tried to make time for a beach day.

Varying degrees of access

In New York City, getting to a not-so-crowded beach meant commuting for over an hour. Walk to the subway. Take the subway to Penn Station for a Long Island Railroad train to a beach of choice. I usually went to Jones Beach, which was a short walk from the train stop.

I rarely arrived while the sun was high and super hot, but I do recall struggling as I roasted with no shade on the hot sand.

That being said, I lived on an island – Manhattan. Every day outside was an opportunity to see, walk by, ride alongside, or sit near the water. So, getting to the beach once a year to put my feet in the ocean was a symbolic goal.

Me touching water for the year.

I didn’t realize how much water was part of my daily life until I moved to Tucson, AZ. The closest beaches were four hours south,  Rocky Point/Puerto Peñasco, Mexico on the Baja Peninsula, and six hours west to San Diego, CA. The highway ends at the Pacific Ocean.

I figured I could do a road trip a year for beach time, and life would be fine. I made it to San Diego one time before leaving the Southwest.

In Milwaukee, Lake Michigan, a practical sea, is less than ten minutes from my door.

Though I get to the water often, to peek at it, moon over it, decompress with it, I rarely get close enough to touch it. To wade in it. Certainly never to swim in it.

Lake Michigan is more accessible than the Hudson and East Rivers were in New York. Certainly more accessible than the Pacific Ocean is to Arizona.

Now that I think of it, I don’t think I heard waves from the piers in New York City. The city is full of so many sounds, it’s hard to isolate soothing rhythms.

Appreciating greatness

Perhaps that’s why I love Lake Michigan so much. The sound and the power. It’s expanse. Within minutes of sitting near the water, all I hear is its symphony, engulfed in its fresh smell. The breeze coming off of the water is both flirtatious and nurturing with eye-catching color changes and luminosity.

Get out and touch water

Bodies of water are rejuvenating, envigorating, life-affirming.
The push and pull of the waves. The retreat and reach of foam caps. The way the water ripples and shimmer as it stretches into the horizon, connecting with heaven at the end of our sight and with our feet planted on the earth at the beginning of our frame of vision.

Ah, maybe that’s the lure. The attraction. The beauty. Touching something that seemingly touches eternity infuses the moment with vigor and greatness in a drop of simplicity.

Such is life. Full of simple moments waiting to be seen as great opportunities for whatever a life needs.

Don’t resist the Ebb and flow

As much as I’ve been pulled into the unknown vastness of the sea, I’ve also been returned to the comfort of the shore every time.

Often, people seek the rush and highlights of life. Rarely taking time to sit in nature and be reminded by the breeze of purpose. Take time to see power in the unity of drops. To recalibrate their vision with the vibrancy of nature’s color palette and sound board. Rarely do we simply exist in the space we occupy, ebbing and flowing with creation. Like a drop of rain joining with the sea to form a wave before greeting the land.

When we crash, we think it’s the end of all things. What if we viewed the crash against shore as the beginning of a cycle. No longer part of the wave, separated briefly from the sea. Until the next wave comes to gather all the drops stranded in the sand. Ebb and flow. Pushed and pulled. Retreat and advance. Wherever you are, keep moving. Ride the wave. Crash. Jump back in. Life gets better with every cycle.

Peace.

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ACAD – New Self: Ephesians 4

Unity in the Body of Christ

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— one Lord, one faith,one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. But grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ’s gift. Therefore it says,

“When he ascended on high he led a host of captives, and he gave gifts to men.”[a]

(In saying, “He ascended,” what does it mean but that he had also descended into the lower regions, the earth?[b]  He who descended is the one who also ascended far above all the heavens, that he might fill all things.) And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds[c] and teachers,[d] to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood,[e] to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped,when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

The New Life

Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. But that is not the way you learned Christ! — assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self,[f] which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.

Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,  and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Footnotes:

  1. a. Ephesians 4:8 The Greek word anthropoi can refer to both men and women
  2. b. Ephesians 4:9 Or the lower parts of the earth?
  3. c. Ephesians 4:11 Or pastors
  4. d. Ephesians 4:11 Or the shepherd-teachers
  5. e. Ephesians 4:13 Greek to a full-grown man
  6. f.  Ephesians 4:22 Greek man; also verse 24

English Standard Version (ESV)The Holy Bible, English Standard Version Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

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A Chapter a Day: Ephesians 4

Ephesians 4, ESV

Unity in the Body of Christ

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. But grace was given to each one of us according to the measure of Christ’s gift. Therefore it says,

“When he ascended on high he led a host of captives,
    and he gave gifts to men.”[a]

(In saying, “He ascended,” what does it mean but that he had also descended into the lower regions, the earth?[b]  He who descended is the one who also ascended far above all the heavens, that he might fill all things.)  And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds[c] and teachers,[d]  to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood,[e] to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ, so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.

The New Life

Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. But that is not the way you learned Christ! — assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self,[f] which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.

Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Footnotes:

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Singleness is not the prize.

Some years ago, I heard a pastor teach about the importance of correctly identifying God’s words in the Bible which are distinctly different from other speaker’s words in the Bible. He was teaching out of Job and I recall that he pointed out people’s fondness for saying “the Lord gives and the Lord takes away”. Then he railed at the congregation: “Stop attributing bad things to God!”

Job spoke those words in prayer as an expression of his understanding of the happenings in his life at that point. However, the reader knows that Satan had asked for and received permission to take everything Job had in an attempt to prove to God that Job’s praises would turn to curses when his blessings were removed from him (Job 1).

That was a deep lesson for me. My mind wanders back to it every now and then. Today is one of those times.

I am single and I have never been in a relationship. I mean never. This year I turn thirty-nine. Over the past decade my thoughts on sexual purity have evolved. When I began studying the Bible seven or so years ago, presenting my body as a holy sacrifice was not a difficult concept for me – most especially because I didn’t think I would be single much longer. However, since the years have dragged on through my mid-, and now, late-thirties, I can honestly say that there is little joy to be found in my singleness.

I have seen friends marry, fight, divorce, fight and marry again. I find I am far less interested in attending the second weddings as I was their firsts because, for the most part, these friends view themselves as independent of their marriages. And they aggressively defend their desire to maintain and pursue their individualism at the expense of their union (though they may not see it that way).

As an honorary presence, I have watched children be born and grow up, yet I have never had any real right to guide their lives. I have seen my access to these children decrease as my relationship with their parents changed or deteriorated over the years. That has led to a lot of grieving and more hardening than I’ve ever thought possible for me. Observing families as a guest is no substitute for having one of your own.

I have seen female relatives struggle with aging and ill-health alone. They may have married in their youth and collected a roster of men over time and raised children they thought would be a blessing in their old age, but in the end bitterness is all that remained.

Singleness is a blessing for a time, but not for all time nor for every time. For the past decade I have said, and I maintain, that I am happy I did not marry before the age of thirty. This is not a post about wishing I had married young. Thirty is the age that my life turned completely in the direction of God. I am joyful that He brought me to Himself as an individual, not as part of a couple or a family unit. I am fortunate in being able to walk out my belief and understanding in my own time and space. This has led to the development of a very strong faith and voice. I thank God for His meticulous care of me. The last eight years of my life have been a continual pursuit of truth and life. The most prominent truth I have held onto is: “It is not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18).”

These words are attributed to God during His process of creating humanity. I understand this statement to mean that it is not good for woman to be alone either.

My internal struggle has been to reconcile God’s proclamation in Genesis 2:18 with Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 7:8-9:

Now for those who are not married and for the widows I say this: It is good for them to stay unmarried as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry. It is better to marry than to burn with sexual desire.

Paul said explicitly, ‘it is good for them to stay unmarried as I am.” I believed that to a certain degree, but I didn’t truly get it until I saw an online conversation thread where a woman cited Paul’s words in verses 28c-29:

But those who marry will have trouble in this life, and I want you to be free from trouble. Brothers and sisters, this is what I mean: We do not have much time left. So starting now, those who have wives should live as if they had no wives.

To the woman’s credit in the conversation I read, she was pointing out that she and her husband had individual callings from the Lord. I appreciate that, but an individual calling does not mean it cannot or should not be a shared pursuit by both husband and wife. It certainly doesn’t mean that one partner should follow their calling to the exclusion of their spouse.

Further down in this passage Paul laments that spouses are distractions from God’s work.

I will argue here that a spouse is intended to be a blessing of completion and unity. Don’t misunderstand me. Yes, we are complete as individuals. Yes, we are complete in our relationship with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. But, there is also another dimension in which God has allowed for completion – a marital relationship in which He has joined two people. This joining and unity is echoed throughout His Book of Instruction.

What I noticed when reading this passage after reading the conversation thread, is that Paul again explicitly states in verse 25: I have no command from the Lord about this; I give my opinion.

We are not called to be like Paul. We were not given Paul’s breath, spirit or life. Paul’s preferences are not the foundation of our faith. Yet First Corinthians, Chapter 7 is laced with Paul saying “I wish you could be like me… I command… and in my opinion (verses 7, 8, 10, 12, 17, 25, 26, 28, 29, 32, 35, 40).” Paul’s opinion, even though it’s in the Bible, does not equal or trump God’s word. The only thing God said was not good about His creation was that man/woman/humans should be alone. That is significant. For Paul to call singleness good, in his opinion, is in direct opposition to what God called it. For Paul to extort married people to act as if they are single is not the call of service God requires of us. A great part of our service to God is serving the people He has put in our care. We are to be helpers and ministers to our spouse. We are to be teachers and guides to our children. We are to be truthful and honest leaders in our community. More importantly, we are to decrease as individuals so that Jesus can increase in us. Our call is to become more Christ-like, to grow more fully and purely into the original image we were created in. The spouse God has blessed you with is not a distraction; and your work together – in one another, in your family and in your community, through the Holy Spirit – is kingdom preparation and building.

I have seen many debates over the years revolving around people trying to make Paul’s words fit their present day circumstances. Paul provided great teachings, but he is very clear about when the Holy Spirit is urging him to speak and when he is speaking on his own. I think we need to be careful to distinguish between the two voices. When we do that, it’s not so difficult to apply Spirit-led words to our life.

That takes me to the seemingly waning blessing of singleness. The truth: What I have learned in my singleness is to look after myself, to think of myself and focus on myself. No matter how I may try to focus on other people, every day is filled with only my life issues. No one else is a primary focus in my life for any extended period of time and I admit, I am truly sick of myself. I would prefer to think of someone else, look after someone else and focus on another. Not in the way of around the clock caretaker, but as a partner and stakeholder in the life details of another person. Singleness doesn’t provide that opportunity. As a single person, every relationship in your life feels transient (if you’re paying attention to how people come and go, that is). Singleness leads to an independent individuality that takes us away from the deep benefits of unity and community. Single people are not included in social groups the same way that married couples or families are. We are limited to a certain type of social interaction. Usually a very shallow social interaction – comic relief, entertainment, etc. Single people aren’t necessarily trusted for their dependability and commitment. Meaning, on many levels, they will be included with the expectation that they will exercise their freedom to get up and go whenever the mood strikes.

I have exercised that right many times. I have stopped committing myself to friendships that change drastically shortly after vows are spoken. I have stopped inserting myself into family settings that usually see me as a refreshing change to the redundancy of stability. I have been known to leave employment that drains me spiritually and mentally. I am also known for stepping out in faith in legendary ways.

More truth: During my singleness, I have been able to tune my life, my heart and my ears to God’s voice – His whisper, His urging, His guidance – with a sensitivity that I may not have been able to develop had I not been alone for a time. My faith has grown and deepened because I had no one else to depend on or look to other than God. My internal seeking and questioning has become layered because my communication with God is mostly silent – my thoughts, my musings, my writing. My Lord Father has been my one and only constant and our relationship is not part of what I termed a “waning blessing”. My relationship with my Lord Father is an eternal blessing that I would never wish to live without. What is waning, or has waned, is my need for solitude and any belief that singleness is a step above or equal to being joined as one with another.

There is richness in merging your life with another’s. This indefinable wealth is evident in any couple that has acknowledged the goodness of their union. There’s a wisdom, understanding, acceptance, appreciation, patience, in-it-togetherness, that most singles don’t really get. And at any sign of marital trouble, we singles ask questions like: Why are you putting up with that? What’s in it for you? Why won’t you leave? Why not just do what makes you happy? Why aren’t you taking care of yourself? Do you really have to put up with this?

Every single person who has asked any variation of these questions to a married friend or relative has undoubtedly heard in response: He’s my husband. She’s my wife. We have a family. It’s not that simple.

And that’s what we don’t get, because we don’t have it. For us, it usually is that simple, because we have only ourselves to think about. That’s why single people change so much when they get married. We are meant to change. We are meant to grow. We are meant to evolve from singleness to unity. Singleness is not the prize. Oneness in marriage is.

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The Importance of Communication

“Look!” he said. “The people are united, and they all speak the same language. After this, nothing they set out to do will be impossible for them! Come, let’s go down and confuse the people with different languages. Then they won’t be able to understand each other.”   ~  Genesis 11:6-7

Tell me what you want! I can’t read your mind!

Have those words ever been hurled at you? I can honestly say in nearly all of my relationships – friend, family, work, community – whenever I have had regular interactions with someone, I’ve told the other person to let me know what they needed or wanted and I would be sure to do what I was able to do. Without fail, that’s how I communicate my interest in, availability, and willingness to work with them for a mutually beneficial relationship.

Without fail, I can tell you the best responders have always been the people I work with. Why? Because there is no expectation of mind-reading.

The people who usually assume I know what they need or want are family and long-term friends. True too, those are the same people I most often act on behalf of before hearing them express their needs. Why? Because there’s knowledge of behaviors, habits, and personality.

When you know certain things about people, you can usually anticipate their needs and desires. However, that is not the same as knowing what they’re thinking. There’s no way of getting around verbally communicating with the people you interact with.

Have you ever considered that God, who knows everything about everything, especially us – He sees us, hears us, reads our heart, knows our desires, knew us before we knew ourselves – even the all knowing God requires us to speak and act? Think about that. We have to ask Him to move in our lives. We have to respond to Him when he speaks to us. We have to do what He tells us to do.

He provides so many instructions in his Word that we know we can’t just sit and think about obeying Him. We know it’s not enough to simply hope for a particular outcome. It does no good to only regret our actions or think loving thoughts. We have to verbalize our sorrow when we’ve wronged someone. We have to speak and show love to the people we care for.

In Genesis 11 we are told the story of the Tower of Babel. This is an amazing story that illustrates the importance of communication. Indeed in verses six and seven, God Himself sums the magnitude of what clear communication can accompish, “The people are united, and they all speak the same language. After this, nothing they set out to do will be impossible for them! Come, let’s go down and confuse the people with different languages. Then they won’t be able to understand each other.”

Do you know that when you and another person understand each other, and you are in agreement with God’s word, anything you choose to do together will be successful? The Word of God says nothing will be impossible for you. You need to know that.   

It’s truly frustrating when people don’t speak – when people don’t share their ideas or positions or contribute to a decision-making conversation. When people withhold their voice, they are withholding the possibility of reaching agreement with you. And whatever you’re working on together will be a struggle at the least or a failure at the most.

Imagine, a very long time ago, everyone spoke the same language, used the same words, understood each other and accomplished great things. Unfortunately, because their unity was in defiance of God’s direct instruction to spread out and fill the earth with their children, God created a situation in which the people preferred to get away from people that made no sense to them. The population separated to form families and tribes based on the languages spoken when God confounded them through language.

How’s that for a word? When there is no understanding, there’s separation.

Communication provides opportunity for unity and deeper fellowship within a relationship.

Read the passage for yourself.

At one time all the people of the world spoke the same language and used the same words. As the people migrated to the east, they found a plain in the land of Babyloniaand settled there.

They began saying to each other, “Let’s make bricks and harden them with fire.” (In this region bricks were used instead of stone, and tar was used for mortar.) Then they said, “Come, let’s build a great city for ourselves with a tower that reaches into the sky. This will make us famous and keep us from being scattered all over the world.”

But the Lord came down to look at the city and the tower the people were building. “Look!” he said. “The people are united, and they all speak the same language. After this, nothing they set out to do will be impossible for them! Come, let’s go down and confuse the people with different languages. Then they won’t be able to understand each other.”

In that way, the Lord scattered them all over the world, and they stopped building the city. That is why the city was called Babel, because that is where the Lord confused the people with different languages. In this way he scattered them all over the world.  ~  Genesis 11:1-9

There are some very important lessons in this passage.

(1) God will have His way. You can fall in line and make things easy for yourself or be disobedient and reap consequences that will affect the earth for generations to come. To this day, we have just as much difficulty communicating with the person next door as we do with people on the other side of the world. Obey God and save yourself some energy!

(2)God has given us so much power that anything we imagine, we can do. If you have doubts about your abilities, reread Genesis 11:6. In Matthew 18:19-20, Jesus tells us, If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. For where two or three gather together as my followers,I am there among them.” Imagine how difficult communicating and understanding must be if we are only required to find one or two others to be in agreement with us and God! That difficulty highlights why it’s so extremely important! 

(3)According to the Dictionary of Biblical Imagery, sun-dried bricks look hard and permanent but they fall apart quickly in the rain or changing weather. “Bricks often appear in [Biblical] contexts where people are constructing their own proud, temporal plans rather than obeying the eternal God.” (Leland Ryken, 1998) In the Babel story, the people were united in disobeying God, building for their own honor rather than God’s glory, and creating from their own “materials” instead of from God’s materials. When we directly oppose God, our best will be as nothing. We need to build on His word, using His stone and mortar and let go of our own bricks and tar (ego and pride).