Category: Self: Knowledge, Acceptance and Love

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ACAD: Giving Thanks – Leviticus 22

And the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, “Speak to Aaron and his sons so that they abstain from the holy things of the people of Israel, which they dedicate to me, so that they do not profane my holy name: I am the Lord. Say to them, ‘If any one of all your offspring throughout your generations approaches the holy things that the people of Israel dedicate to the Lord, while he has an uncleanness, that person shall be cut off from my presence: I am the Lord. None of the offspring of Aaron who has a leprous disease or a discharge may eat of the holy things until he is clean. Whoever touches anything that is unclean through contact with the dead or a man who has had an emission of semen,  and whoever touches a swarming thing by which he may be made unclean or a person from whom he may take uncleanness, whatever his uncleanness may be — the person who touches such a thing shall be unclean until the evening and shall not eat of the holy things unless he has bathed his body in water. When the sun goes down he shall be clean, and afterward he may eat of the holy things, because they are his food. He shall not eat what dies of itself or is torn by beasts, and so make himself unclean by it: I am the Lord.’ They shall therefore keep my charge, lest they bear sin for it and die thereby when they profane it: I am the Lord who sanctifies them.

“A lay person shall not eat of a holy thing; no foreign guest of the priest or hired worker shall eat of a holy thing, but if a priest buys a slave[a] as his property for money, the slave[b] may eat of it, and anyone born in his house may eat of his food. If a priest’s daughter marries a layman, she shall not eat of the contribution of the holy things. But if a priest’s daughter is widowed or divorced and has no child and returns to her father’s house, as in her youth, she may eat of her father’s food; yet no lay person shall eat of it. And if anyone eats of a holy thing unintentionally, he shall add the fifth of its value to it and give the holy thing to the priest. They shall not profane the holy things of the people of Israel, which they contribute to the Lord, and so cause them to bear iniquity and guilt, by eating their holy things: for I am the Lordwho sanctifies them.”

Acceptable Offerings

And the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, “Speak to Aaron and his sons and all the people of Israel and say to them, When any one of the house of Israel or of the sojourners in Israel presents a burnt offering as his offering, for any of their vows or freewill offerings that they offer to the Lord, if it is to be accepted for you it shall be a male without blemish, of the bulls or the sheep or the goats. You shall not offer anything that has a blemish, for it will not be acceptable for you. And when anyone offers a sacrifice of peace offerings to the Lord to fulfill a vow or as a freewill offering from the herd or from the flock, to be accepted it must be perfect; there shall be no blemish in it. Animals blind or disabled or mutilated or having a discharge or an itch or scabs you shall not offer to the Lord or give them to the Lord as a food offering on the altar. You may present a bull or a lamb that has a part too long or too short for a freewill offering, but for a vow offering it cannot be accepted. Any animal that has its testicles bruised or crushed or torn or cut you shall not offer to the Lord; you shall not do it within your land, neither shall you offer as the bread of your God any such animals gotten from a foreigner. Since there is a blemish in them, because of their mutilation, they will not be accepted for you.”

And the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, “When an ox or sheep or goat is born, it shall remain seven days with its mother, and from the eighth day on it shall be acceptable as a food offering to the Lord. But you shall not kill an ox or a sheep and her young in one day. And when you sacrifice a sacrifice of thanksgiving to the Lord, you shall sacrifice it so that you may be accepted. It shall be eaten on the same day; you shall leave none of it until morning: I am the Lord.

“So you shall keep my commandments and do them: I am the Lord. And you shall not profane my holy name, that I may be sanctified among the people of Israel. I am the Lord who sanctifies you, who brought you out of the land of Egypt to be your God: I am the Lord.”

Footnotes:

  1. Leviticus 22:11 Or servant; twice in this verse
  2. Leviticus 22:11 Hebrew he

English Standard Version (ESV)The Holy Bible, English Standard Version Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers.

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A Chapter a Day: Jeremiah 1

The words of Jeremiah, the son of Hilkiah, one of the priests who were in Anathoth in the land of Benjamin, to whom the word of the Lord came in the days of Josiah the son of Amon, king of Judah, in the thirteenth year of his reign. It came also in the days of Jehoiakim the son of Josiah, king of Judah, and until the end of the eleventh year of Zedekiah, the son of Josiah, king of Judah, until the captivity of Jerusalem in the fifth month.

The Call of Jeremiah

Now the word of the Lord came to me, saying,

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
and before you were born I consecrated you;
I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”

Then I said, “Ah, Lord God! Behold, I do not know how to speak, for I am only a youth.” But the Lord said to me,

“Do not say, ‘I am only a youth’;
for to all to whom I send you, you shall go,
and whatever I command you, you shall speak.
Do not be afraid of them,
for I am with you to deliver you,
declares the Lord.”

Then the Lord put out his hand and touched my mouth. And the Lord said to me,

“Behold, I have put my words in your mouth.
See, I have set you this day over nations and over kingdoms,
to pluck up and to break down,
to destroy and to overthrow,
to build and to plant.”

And the word of the Lord came to me, saying, “Jeremiah, what do you see?” And I said, “I see an almond[a] branch.” Then the Lord said to me, “You have seen well, for I am watching over my word to perform it.”

The word of the Lord came to me a second time, saying, “What do you see?” And I said, “I see a boiling pot, facing away from the north.” Then the Lord said to me, “Out of the north disaster[b] shall be let loose upon all the inhabitants of the land. For behold, I am calling all the tribes of the kingdoms of the north, declares the Lord, and they shall come, and every one shall set his throne at the entrance of the gates of Jerusalem, against all its walls all around and against all the cities of Judah. And I will declare my judgments against them, for all their evil in forsaking me. They have made offerings to other gods and worshiped the works of their own hands. But you, dress yourself for work;[c] arise, and say to them everything that I command you. Do not be dismayed by them, lest I dismay you before them. And I, behold, I make you this day a fortified city, an iron pillar, and bronze walls, against the whole land, against the kings of Judah, its officials, its priests, and the people of the land. They will fight against you, but they shall not prevail against you, for I am with you, declares the Lord, to deliver you.”

Footnotes:

  1. Jeremiah 1:11 Almond sounds like the Hebrew for watching (compare verse 12)
  2. Jeremiah 1:14 The Hebrew word can mean evil, harm, or disaster, depending on the context; so throughout Jeremiah
  3. Jeremiah 1:17 Hebrew gird up your loins

English Standard Version (ESV)

The Holy Bible, English Standard Version Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers.
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A Chapter a Day: 1 John 5

1 John 5, ESV

Overcoming the World

Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has been born of God, and everyone who loves the Father loves whoever has been born of him. By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey his commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome. For everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world — our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world except the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?

Testimony Concerning the Son of God

This is he who came by water and blood — Jesus Christ; not by the water only but by the water and the blood. And the Spirit is the one who testifies, because the Spirit is the truth. For there are three that testify: the Spirit and the water and the blood; and these three agree. If we receive the testimony of men, the testimony of God is greater, for this is the testimony of God that he has borne concerning his Son. Whoever believes in the Son of God has the testimony in himself. Whoever does not believe God has made him a liar, because he has not believed in the testimony that God has borne concerning his Son. And this is the testimony, that God gave us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life.

That You May Know

I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God that you may know that you have eternal life. And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him.

If anyone sees his brother committing a sin not leading to death, he shall ask, and God[a] will give him life—to those who commit sins that do not lead to death. There is sin that leads to death; I do not say that one should pray for that. All wrongdoing is sin, but there is sin that does not lead to death.

We know that everyone who has been born of God does not keep on sinning, but he who was born of God protects him, and the evil one does not touch him.

We know that we are from God, and the whole world lies in the power of the evil one.

And we know that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true; and we are in him who is true, in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life. Little children, keep yourselves from idols.

Footnotes:

  1. 1 John 5:16 Greek he
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A Chapter a Day: John 4

Sunrise over Haifa Bay, Israel (2012)
Sunrise over Haifa Bay, Israel (2012)


John 4, ESV

Jesus and the Woman of Samaria

Now when Jesus learned that the Pharisees had heard that Jesus was making and baptizing more disciples than John  (although Jesus himself did not baptize, but only his disciples), he left Judea and departed again for Galilee. And he had to pass through Samaria. So he came to a town of Samaria called Sychar, near the field that Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there; so Jesus, wearied as he was from his journey, was sitting beside the well. It was about the sixth hour.[a]

A woman from Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.” (For his disciples had gone away into the city to buy food.) The Samaritan woman said to him, “How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a woman of Samaria?” (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.) Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.” The woman said to him, “Sir, you have nothing to draw water with, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob? He gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did his sons and his livestock.” Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again.[b] The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water.”

Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.”  The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.” The woman said to him, “Sir, I perceive that you are a prophet. Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you say that in Jerusalem is the place where people ought to worship.” Jesus said to her, “Woman, believe me, the hour is coming when neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father. You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him. God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.” The woman said to him, “I know that Messiah is coming (he who is called Christ). When he comes, he will tell us all things.” Jesus said to her, “I who speak to you am he.”

Just then his disciples came back. They marveled that he was talking with a woman, but no one said, “What do you seek?” or, “Why are you talking with her?” So the woman left her water jar and went away into town and said to the people, “Come, see a man who told me all that I ever did. Can this be the Christ?” They went out of the town and were coming to him.

Meanwhile the disciples were urging him, saying, “Rabbi, eat.” But he said to them, “I have food to eat that you do not know about.” So the disciples said to one another, “Has anyone brought him something to eat?”  Jesus said to them, “My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to accomplish his work. Do you not say, ‘There are yet four months, then comes the harvest’? Look, I tell you, lift up your eyes, and see that the fields are white for harvest. Already the one who reaps is receiving wages and gathering fruit for eternal life, so that sower and reaper may rejoice together. For here the saying holds true, ‘One sows and another reaps.’ I sent you to reap that for which you did not labor. Others have labored, and you have entered into their labor.”

Many Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, “He told me all that I ever did.” So when the Samaritans came to him, they asked him to stay with them, and he stayed there two days. And many more believed because of his word. They said to the woman, “It is no longer because of what you said that we believe, for we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this is indeed the Savior of the world.”

After the two days he departed for Galilee. (For Jesus himself had testified that a prophet has no honor in his own hometown.) So when he came to Galilee, the Galileans welcomed him, having seen all that he had done in Jerusalem at the feast. For they too had gone to the feast.

Jesus Heals an Official’s Son

So he came again to Cana in Galilee, where he had made the water wine. And at Capernaum there was an official whose son was ill. When this man heard that Jesus had come from Judea to Galilee, he went to him and asked him to come down and heal his son, for he was at the point of death.  So Jesus said to him, “Unless you[c] see signs and wonders you will not believe.” The official said to him, “Sir, come down before my child dies.” Jesus said to him, “Go; your son will live.” The man believed the word that Jesus spoke to him and went on his way. As he was going down, his servants[d]met him and told him that his son was recovering. So he asked them the hour when he began to get better, and they said to him, “Yesterday at the seventh hour[e] the fever left him.” The father knew that was the hour when Jesus had said to him, “Your son will live.” And he himself believed, and all his household. This was now the second sign that Jesus did when he had come from Judea to Galilee.

Footnotes:

a. John 4:6 That is, about noon
b. John 4:14 Greek forever
c. John 4:48 The Greek for you is plural; twice in this verse
d. John 4:51 Greek bondservants
e. John 4:52 That is, at 1 p.m.
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A Chapter a Day: John 2

Source: http://sharingthegoodnews.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/in-the-beginning.jpg
Source: http://sharingthegoodnews.files.wordpress.com

John 2, NCV

The Wedding at Cana

Two days later there was a wedding in the town of Cana in Galilee. Jesus’ mother was there, and Jesus and his followers were also invited to the wedding. When all the wine was gone, Jesus’ mother said to him, “They have no more wine.”

Jesus answered, “Dear woman, why come to me? My time has not yet come.”

His mother said to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you to do.”

In that place there were six stone water jars that the Jews used in their washing ceremony.[a] Each jar held about twenty or thirty gallons.

Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water.” So they filled the jars to the top.

Then he said to them, “Now take some out and give it to the master of the feast.”

So they took the water to the master. When he tasted it, the water had become wine. He did not know where the wine came from, but the servants who had brought the water knew. The master of the wedding called the bridegroom and said to him, “People always serve the best wine first. Later, after the guests have been drinking awhile, they serve the cheaper wine. But you have saved the best wine till now.”

So in Cana of Galilee Jesus did his first miracle. There he showed his glory, and his followers believed in him.

Jesus in the Temple

After this, Jesus went to the town of Capernaum with his mother, brothers, and followers. They stayed there for just a few days. When it was almost time for the Jewish Passover Feast, Jesus went to Jerusalem. In the Temple he found people selling cattle, sheep, and doves. He saw others sitting at tables, exchanging different kinds of money. Jesus made a whip out of cords and forced all of them, both the sheep and cattle, to leave the Temple. He turned over the tables and scattered the money of those who were exchanging it. Then he said to those who were selling pigeons, “Take these things out of here! Don’t make my Father’s house a place for buying and selling!”

When this happened, the followers remembered what was written in the Scriptures: “My strong love for your Temple completely controls me.”[b]

Some of his people said to Jesus, “Show us a miracle to prove you have the right to do these things.”

Jesus answered them, “Destroy this temple, and I will build it again in three days.”

They answered, “It took forty-six years to build this Temple! Do you really believe you can build it again in three days?”

 (But the temple Jesus meant was his own body. After Jesus was raised from the dead, his followers remembered that Jesus had said this. Then they believed the Scripture and the words Jesus had said.)

When Jesus was in Jerusalem for the Passover Feast, many people believed in him because they saw the miracles he did. But Jesus did not believe in them because he knew them all.  He did not need anyone to tell him about people, because he knew what was in people’s minds.

Footnotes:

a.  2:6 washing ceremony The Jewish people washed themselves in special ways before eating, before worshiping in the Temple, and at other special times.

b.  2:17 “My . . . me.” Quotation from Psalm 69:9.

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The older I get, the less I worry about relationships.

Photo: "Monarch" by Lisa Richelle Fine Photography (2014).
Photo: “Monarch” by Lisa Richelle Fine Photography (2014).

The older I get, the less I worry about relationships. Not because relationships matter less to me as I age, but because I’ve come to realize the relationships that matter most are the relationships in which the other party also values a relationship with me. People who want to be in relationship with you, make sure there is no cause to worry about the relationship. As I’ve come to this realization, I’ve also noticed that I don’t have to weed people out of my life. People remove themselves simply by their lack of care and attention to the relationship. They fade away.

The relationships that matter most to me now are those where my appreciation is reciprocated. Where my admiration, care, concern, and respect are shared. Where there’s a mutual desire to pursue, maintain and grow in relationship with one another. This includes relationships in every area of my life: personal, family, friend, social, work, etc.

Looking back on my life, I see a long trail of one-sided relationships that I was truly dedicated to. But I was also uncertain, agonized, tormented, dissatisfied, and insecure in some way. When I chose to step away from the people who only wanted to take what I had to offer without sharing any of themselves with me, I was able to let go of the negative feelings they instilled in me. I am over being the only vested person in one-sided relationships. I’m done making myself available for people who don’t want to be available for me. I’m no longer seeking out people who persist on hiding and playing in the dark.

By God’s Grace and Light, I am being rebuilt in strength, fullness and beauty. I’m a Child of the Light and I intend to live like it.

As I have matured, I have become more confident with all I have to offer as a human being, as a woman, as a friend, as a worker – and God willing, as a wife, lover and mother. I have grown confident in the fact that I am not missing out on anything at this point in my life. All who are meant to share this time and space with me are doing so. I am blessed and highly favored and I know the blessings and favor upon my life flow from me to those connected to my life. There’s no need for me to chase anybody or anything. God is my supplier. His Light in me attracts what is meant for me and repels that which is not.

I thank God for the harsh scrubs that cleanses another layer of the world from me with each washing.

You want me to be completely truthful,
    so teach me wisdom.
Take away my sin, and I will be clean.
    Wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Make me hear sounds of joy and gladness;
    let the bones you crushed be happy again.
Turn your face from my sins
    and wipe out all my guilt.

Create in me a pure heart, God,
    and make my spirit right again.
Do not send me away from you
    or take your Holy Spirit away from me.
Give me back the joy of your salvation.
    Keep me strong by giving me a willing spirit.
Then I will teach your ways to those who do wrong,
    and sinners will turn back to you.  ~ Psalms 51:6-13, NCV

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A conversation and a song

Today was a blah day. This whole week I’ve been low on energy. Tonight on my way home, a young homeless man called out to me as I walked past with a classmate, “Can you buy me something to eat?” This is a common question in New York City. I do what I can when I can, and basically keep it moving. I asked him if he knew what he wanted. He said yes. We went into the restaurant. My classmate followed. There was a line; he and I got in it. My classmate had a large bag so she stood off to the side.

I started asking him questions. Are you a student? How long have you been homeless? Where do you normally stay? How long have you lived in New York? How are you doing overall? He answered some of the questions and deflected others, but he was very adamant in telling me what bothered him about the world. “How am I doing,” he repeated. “How should I be doing when so many people hate me? People hate me because I’m gay. They hate me because I sing and they don’t want me too. They don’t want me to be anything and they tell me that. But I’m not going to hate them back. And I’m going to keep singing.”

I looked him in the eye and said, “Can I share something with you that I’ve learned over the last twenty years?”

He looked taken aback. “I shared that with you because I thought you wanted me to be real,” he said cautiously.

“I do. Thank you for sharing. I just want to save you some time and energy. From the last twenty years of my life, I can tell you: people don’t hate you because you’re gay. People hate you because people are hateful. It’s just people being people. Don’t over-complicate it. I can’t tell you how often I asked myself , ‘Why me? Why are people treating me like this or that? What if I was different? What if I did what they wanted me to do? What if I was a better person?’ But you know what? None of that mattered. People hated me because they wanted to. Hate is what people do. I had to learn to appreciate who I am. You need accept who you are. When you accept all the various aspects of yourself, other peoples’ thoughts about you will no longer matter. Learn to appreciate yourself. Learn to love yourself.”

He looked a bit dreamy-eyed and touched his head to my shoulder for a second – I admit I wasn’t expecting that. Then he looked me in the eye and asked if he could sing me a song.

“I’m not one to silence anyone’s voice,” I replied, “please do.” We were still in the middle of a slow-moving line in a restaurant in Union Square. He began singing a beautiful song in his beautiful voice. Halfway through I began lip-syncing along with him. My heart was lifted and I believe he lifted the hearts of several people in the line also.

He sang I Still Believe by Brenda K. Starr; the song was later covered by Mariah Carey.

When he finished, I had more questions for him, as did my classmate and soon we were at the register. He ordered his meal and I asked him his name.

Brandon. His name is Brandon.

A short while later, after leaving the restaurant and parting with my classmate,  I searched online for the song he sang to me. If there’s one spark of hope left in my grasp, I’ll hold it with both hands. It’s worth the risk of burning to have a second chance…If we believe that true love never has to end, then we must know that we will love again.

What Brandon gave me

I was in need of a song. I desperately needed a word. Brandon started his serenade off with “You looked into my eyes….”

Shortly before me and my classmate came into contact with Brandon, my classmate saw someone on campus from another of her classes. She walked up to this woman and said, “Do you see me?” Before we parted company with that woman, my classmate told her, “When you see me, say ‘hi’ and I will do the same.” The woman was taken aback by both statements,  however the first statement she didn’t take literally at first and she asked, “How do you mean, ‘Do I see you’?” However by the end of their conversation she understood it literally and returned to the first question to answer succinctly, “This is the first time I am seeing you and I did speak.”

Brandon gave me clarity.

Photo: Through The Looking Glass by Lisa Richelle
Photo: Through The Looking Glass by Lisa Richelle

I see people for who they are. I hear the things they don’t say. I feel their pain, confusion and their sense of loss. That’s what they willingly reveal to me… until they realize that in understanding their pain, I’m also able to follow them when they withdraw and hide within themselves. I invade their hiding places. I confront them in their fears. All this happens simply through the sharing of conversation.

Every friend I’ve gained through conversation, I have also loss through conversation. People are happy to tell you what they think you want to hear, but they can’t stand to share the truth of themselves. I have no problem with sharing my truth, but I’ve come to learn that my openness is the beginning of the end of my friend and family relationships. People reject openness, honesty, truth and love. After so many endings, I had started to despair that I could ever love people through, and beyond, their rejection of me.

And then during a random encounter with a young man named Brandon, I was briefly pulled out of hiding and heard that I will love again.

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A Fucked-Up Life and God

It is one of the deep blessings in life to realize that our imperfect lives and experiences can be used to offer hope at the perfect moment. God is so good. Continue to turn to Him and surrender your heart and spirit – repeatedly. {Click the link to read this post by Cyndy Lavoie.}

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Know whose you are.

I’ve been vulnerable to petty distractions and attacks for a period of time. Of course I didn’t notice a pattern or recognize danger until I was deep in the grips of something destructive – anger. Recently, I had a very strong reaction to some workplace ridiculousness. It was the extreme ridiculousness of the situation and the fact that I allowed myself to engage in the ridiculousness that had me jerking myself up by the scruff of the neck. I didn’t like the fact that I was allowing myself to get distracted from my primary project goal by something that wasn’t even relevant to the completion of my project. Part of my self-correction included apologizing to my project colleagues: “My apologies for falling into a rabbit hole of ridiculousness. It’s rare that I allow my goat to get got.”

Part of checking myself consisted of asking myself two telling questions. (1) What am I really upset about? (2) What do I have to prove to the people I was engaging with?

The answer to the first question had nothing to do with the petty issues pelting me. The answer to the second question was: absolutely nothing.

The enemy was attacking me through very accommodating vessels, but it was up to me if and how I allowed the attacks to affect me.

These attacks that were aimed at the very heart of who I am and what I’ve worked hard for. Most of them literally came through people I didn’t know (a stranger appeared at my door one night to yell at me), people I haven’t spoken to in years (friends and relatives who had cut me off) were suddenly calling and emailing, and work colleague intent on showing me how insignificant I am in the whole scheme of things were making me aware of their disdain. And of course the most unexpected and vicious attacks were through people who knew me well (or thought they did). The attacks went on like rapid fire throughout this whole year. But it was only in the last three or four months that I cracked. I was extremely stressed and extremely tired.

So how did I respond when the cracks became big gaps in my peace and reasoning?

Well, I was only being told lies of hatred and unworthiness. After a while I didn’t have the strength to fight the lies. They kept rolling over me and eventually seeped into the cracks of my armor. That’s not to say that I thought less of myself in regards to the people attacking me, but I got extremely angry and wanted to attack them back. This was not a healthy anger. It was dark and seething. It was hateful. It recollected abuses, insults and wrongs long forgotten. And each new attacker was in danger of receiving the full brunt of the anger consuming me.

That’s what I saw in myself when I finally checked myself. But the strength to check myself didn’t come until after I completely shut down. I had to close out the voices. Eliminate the distractions. Reevaluate everything about my life. Who am I? Who do I want to be? Am I where I want to be? Where do I want to be? What have I done that truly matters? What needs do I have? What do I still desire? What’s next? What happens between now and then? How do I get there?

The months of October and November proved to be a period of recalibration for me. I didn’t dive deep, but I certainly cleaned the surface and started digging. I began uprooting the elements that didn’t belong in my spirit: resentment, bitterness, anger. Now I see all the attacks as requests for entry into my spirit. They were knocks at my door, cold calls and smoke signals seeking an invitation to come roost in me. After resting, thinking, praying and re-evaluating, I finally had the strength to say, “No, you’re not welcome here.” And, “The door to my life is no longer open to you.”        

I CAN JUST BE ME by Laura Story

HELLO, MY NAME IS by Matthew West

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Why so prejudiced against Christians?

imagesCAAUGX5RI’m always shocked how quickly and completely people pre-judge me simply because I profess my belief and faith in God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit. After they know that about me, it’s like they deem me unworthy of getting to know. Suddenly, I have no opinions other than what’s popularly known, assumed or guessimated about the Bible. I have no sense of humor. I have no aspirations other than the second coming of the Lord. I’m one-dimensional. I’m unfair. A religious nut. A fanatic. A homophobe. Perhaps a racist or classist. Certainly superior. Irrational. Unintelligent. Unable to think for myself.  A know-it-all with a straight line to God. Misguided. Simple-minded. A target. Object of pity. Innocent. Naïve. Someone to take advantage of because forgiveness is a way of life. A non-sinner. Incapable of understanding struggle. Unacquainted with sin or sinful thoughts. A paragon at avoiding temptation. Self-righteous and overly ripe. I’m sure the list of assumptions and judgments continue endlessly, but these are some I’ve been confronted with.

Recently, I had a Facebook exchange with someone who just assumed I was in opposition to something that she supported simply because of my “religion”. This was our first exchange on the topic and her only comment to me about it. The first time I met her is the last time I saw her, about five years ago at an event. In the same comment she mentioned an appreciation of our “friendship”.

imagesCA4G8RUZThat’s the second thing that hit me after being pre-judged based on my faith life: What friendship? Friends communicate with one another. They take the time to get to know each other. Friendships are long-term relationships that grow DESPITE what we learn about the other person. A friend doesn’t learn one thing about their “friend” and stop learning. Stop speaking. Stop sharing. Stop growing and exploring the relationship. In other words, friendships are not based on pre-judgments. Friendships are based on openness and a willingness to get to know another person and accept them as they are. To share that person’s present reality and perhaps aid them in their future dreams. Friendships deepen with each new character aspect we learn about the other person and through each trial and challenge that is overcome together in the relationship.

Don’t claim to be my friend if you can’t even accept or respect me as a faith-filled person.

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