This is such a phenomenal human teaching.
Phrases I had to pause the video for (i.e., my notes):
- Love is a skill, not an instinct. It needs time be learned. We’re taught to follow our feelings, which usually lead us astray.
- Vulnerability is key.
- We don’t know how to love.
- To love someone is to apply charity of interpretation.
- We start off with idealization and end up with denigration.
- Love is not just admiration for strength, it’s tolerance for weakness and recognition of ambivalence.
- We’re seeking partners that feel familiar.
- We are not on a quest to be happy; we are on a quest to suffer in ways that feel familiar.
- If you do not explain, you will never be understood.
- Good enough.
- None of us are perfect, but we demand perfection. The demand for perfection will lead us to loneliness.
- You cannot have perfection and company. To spend time in company with another person is to be negotiating imperfections every day.
- We are all incompatible, but it is the work of love to make us graciously accommodating to each other and our own incompatibilities. Therefore, compatibility is an achievement of love.
- We aren’t able to change our type, but we can change how we respond to our type.
- Compromise is noble.
Either/or, Part I free download: Either – Or (volume One) : Humphrey Milford, Oxford University Press : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive
Either/or, Part II free download: Either/or : Kiekegaard Soren : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive