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“God Will Save Me”

A terrible storm came into a town and local officials sent out an emergency warning that the riverbanks would soon overflow and flood the nearby homes. They ordered everyone in the town to evacuate immediately.

A faithful Christian man heard the warning and decided to stay, saying to himself, “I will trust God and if I am in danger, then God will send a divine miracle to save me.”

The neighbors came by his house and said to him, “We’re leaving and there is room for you in our car, please come with us!” But the man declined. “I have faith that God will save me.”

As the man stood on his porch watching the water rise up the steps, a man in a canoe paddled by and called to him, “Hurry and come into my canoe, the waters are rising quickly!” But the man again said, “No thanks, God will save me.”

The floodwaters rose higher pouring water into his living room and the man had to retreat to the second floor. A police motorboat came by and saw him at the window. “We will come up and rescue you!” they shouted. But the man refused, waving them off saying, “Use your time to save someone else! I have faith that God will save me!”

The flood waters rose higher and higher and the man had to climb up to his rooftop.

A helicopter spotted him and dropped a rope ladder. A rescue officer came down the ladder and pleaded with the man, “Grab my hand and I will pull you up!” But the man STILL refused, folding his arms tightly to his body. “No thank you! God will save me!” 

Shortly after, the house broke up and the floodwaters swept the man away and he drowned.

When in Heaven, the man stood before God and asked, “I put all of my faith in You. Why didn’t You come and save me?”

And God said, “Son, I sent you a warning. I sent you a car. I sent you a canoe. I sent you a motorboat. I sent you a helicopter. What more were you looking for?”


This cautionary tale has been on my mind for a couple of months. I am in the process of my own response to the reminder, but I feel compelled to share now rather than later.

Often we know what we need, but because of our preconceived notions of how we will receive it, we miss it when it’s right in front of us.

I’ve been ready to relocate since 2011. I arrived in New York City shortly after my thirtieth birthday in September 2005. It was a place I had always wanted to live. Since I hadn’t cultivated thoughts of other cities, I couldn’t envision myself anywhere else when I was ready to go. I began scouting cities as possible new homes in 2012. In September 2016, I visited Tucson for the first time. As I drove along the road leading to the first neighborhood on my list to visit, an incredible awe and peace came over me. My immediate internal response to the awe and peace was, “This is home.”

A couple if months later, in December I returned to put a deposit on a lot at the end of that road and began building my new home. I closed on it in June 2017 then returned to New York quietly excited but troubled.

There is no logical or mathematical way that I can explain my ability to purchase a second home – most certainly not one in a desert across the country. It was a very stressful year to say the least, but only because I chose to worry about money and my ability to to cover my debts. 🙂 It was blatantly obvious from the beginning of the process that God was leading. I was following. He wanted me to get some place and He wanted me to get moving now. Even while believing this, I still agonized over the details.

My spirit was willing but my flesh was weak.

Spiritually, I know everything that is happening in my life right now is God’s plan, positioning and timing. He’s about to perform His Word in my life and turbo boost me into my purpose. Spiritually, I know that the house and transcontinental move are not the “big thing.” Perhaps that’s the source of the underlining fear….

Physically, in my flesh, I can see myself barely staying above water with my current income spread across two mortgages and all associated expenses. My goal was to complete my move when all my ducks were in a row. Secure job in new city, secure renters and possible buyer for NYC apartment and perhaps a renter for the spare room in the new house. I wanted to be sure all my financial obligations were covered before I gave up my Big City job. I didn’t want to risk foreclosure after all the hard work and sweat equity I’ve put into acquiring what I have.

The missing detail is that I haven’t been able to secure a position in Tucson or a location-flexible (remote) role in the last fifteen months. As the months have passed following  my closing with no clear path to completing my move, I became despondent. I kept asking God to tell me what my next step was. My employment and NYC apartment concerns aren’t easy to disentangle from. These concerns overshadowed how much God had already glided me through.

My mental maneuvering immobilized me. I was gripped in a fear I didn’t recognize and therefore couldn’t acknowledge. My inability to secure employment on the other side of this move exposed the condition of my faith to me. This has humbled me greatly.

The rich young man grieved by the thought of selling all his possessions to follow Jesus has been on my mind lately (Matthew 19:16-26).  I’ve been ashamed much like Peter must have been when he realized that he did indeed deny Jesus three times before the rooster crowed.

I know that nothing I have is mine; that everything I’ve been blessed with has been received through grace. Even with that deep sure knowledge, I still thought I could pause what God has set in motion until I accomplished what I wanted to accomplish. Even with that deep sure knowledge, it’s a struggle to quit my job and go where I’ve been shown to go. Even with that deep sure knowledge, my salary keeps trying to trump my faith.

I wouldn’t have thought that my faith would ever be a weak link for me, but I should’ve known. How can we be strengthened if we aren’t tested?

A few weeks ago, I fell asleep in the middle of a prayer. My forlorn plea was, “Father, please tell me what my next step is.” For months, I had been asking Him to tell me what to do. I could see the big picture (or rather the mid-range picture), but I couldn’t see the strokes or the steps to get to that picture without losing ground. When I woke up the next morning, the answer in my spirit was a straight-forward, “I have already given you a way out.”

With that, I got up and went about my Father’s business.


These things happened to them to serve as an example, and they were written down to instruct us, on whom the ends of the ages have come. So if you think you are standing, watch out that you do not fall. No testing has overtaken you that is not common to everyone. God is faithful, and He will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing He will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it. ~ 1 Corinthians 10:11-13












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What really matters in the end…

I am not one to admit to having favorites within my family. There’s a great deal of jealously on both sides and I learned early on that what I did for one person, I had to do for others. Most especially for my two grandmothers, who had the wonderful foresight (or cunning) to be neighbors for the majority of my life. From the age of five, I have been a visiting granddaughter “from out-of-town”, and as such, my grandma time has been split almost consistently down the middle during my visits to my hometown. Morning at Grandma B’s, evening at Grandma S’s. First night at Grandma S’s, second night at Grandma B’s. If I needed a tie-breaker (or just a break!) – I ran to my aunt’s house for relief. Don’t get me wrong, the reason I was so diligent in dividing my time between my grandmothers was because of my love and respect for them both. I had no desire for either to ever think they weren’t a priority to me. I don’t remember the content of all our conversations, but we always talked. My time with both of them consisted of me just sitting with them in their space, sharing conversation, watching their TV programs with them, me reading and them doing their own thing. I was also their occasional errand girl, driver to doctor visits, personal shopper, etc. I did whatever was needed during my time with them.

Grandma S passed away in mid-December 2012. The last time I had visited with her in her home – when it was just her and me – was sometime in 2004. After that, it was mostly urgent visits to the hospital with family and doctors telling me it was her “last days”. Thinking of it in this way, for nearly eight years, we were in her last days…. I received another such urgent call the last week of November. My aunt told me through her sobs that my grandmother was asking for me and I had to come “now”. I managed to get across the country to her bedside within 36 hours or so. I will tell you, we had been in a nearly fifteen-year stretch of urgent calls and emergency hospital visits for Grandma S. Part of me didn’t think this would be the last time I would see her alive; she had continued to live despite what her doctors predicted time after time for so many years. But my spirit knew better. My spirit wanted to share Jesus Christ with her. I can’t recall ever discussing faith or religion with Grandma S. That wasn’t one of our topics. We talked sports, we talked school, we talked work. In more recent years she wanted to know if I had met someone. I would teasingly respond that she had to keep holding on because my man hadn’t come for me yet.

When I got to her bedside, I could only look at her, kiss her repeatedly and tell her over and over again that I love her. After a bit of that and concern that the attention was a bit much, I sat with her until she fell asleep. Then I took out my journal and my box of Christmas cards that had been in my bag for over a month. The first card went to her. This is what I wrote:

December 1, 2012

My Dear Grandma Stuart,

I can’t remember the last holiday season we shared time, but I certainly never thought the next holiday season we came together would be in a hospital – you in bed & me at your side praying for the peace of Jesus Christ to fill you and the breath of the Holy Spirit to soothe and comfort you. We’ve never spoken of spiritual matters, but I asked God to take you in hand and hold you close. I now ask you to receive His Grace, receive His offer of Salvation, receive His Son Jesus Christ into your heart – welcome Him with your voice. I love you so very much. It’s a comfort to me & it should be to you to know that God loves you so much more. He is here for you & He brought me to your side.

Love you always,


Grandma S

When she awoke, I read the whole card to her – the pre-written message and my personal note. I asked her if she understood and she nodded. I didn’t want to push her beyond that, but I did feel confident that I had delivered the message I was meant to deliver. I sat by her bed most of that day praying, journaling, writing, and thinking. Paramount in my thoughts was the fact that I couldn’t remember much from a lifetime of conversation with my grandmother, but I knew the one thing we had never talked about was the only thing I wanted to share with her before she departed. It is truly well with my soul that I was there to do so. She passed away two weeks later.

In the end, all that mattered was that I was able to hug and kiss her one last time and tell her that all my love for her was nothing compared to God’s love for her.

May she rest in eternal peace.

Related posts:

“Beloved, your life matters to me.”

I Love You, But God Loves You More

What if today were your last day on earth?

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The Grace to Receive

There’s a fundamental difference between receiving and taking. A receiver is someone who accepts something that has been freely offered. A taker is someone who claims possession of something that doesn’t belong to them nor was it freely offered to them.

The first couple of years I lived in New York City, God put me in situations where I had to learn how to accept people’s offerings with His grace. I had grown up on the tough lesson that no one could be trusted with my well-being. So I sought for many years (teens and twenties) to become more independent and self-sufficient. As I entered my thirties, I stopped asking people for help because no one had ever really shown up for me. It’s a sobering thought that was enflamed by self-pity. Gratefully, in more recent years, as my faith has strengthened through testing, my spirit has rested in the assurance that all my needs are met and my God is sufficient for me.

Perhaps the most difficult and yet the most necessary lesson has been to learn to receive God’s grace. From there, everything truly abounds.

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Greet the sun

Greeting each new day with joy… when I can.

“Arise, Jerusalem! Let your light shine for all to see. For the glory of the Lord rises to shine on you. Darkness as black as night covers all the nations of the earth, but the glory of the Lord rises and appears over you.

“No longer will you need the sun to shine by day, nor the moon to give its light by night, for the Lord your God will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your glory.
Your sun will never set; your moon will not go down. For the Lord will be your everlasting light. Your days of mourning will come to an end. All your people will be righteous. They will possess their land forever, for I will plant them there with my own hands in order to bring myself glory. The smallest family will become a thousand people, and the tiniest group will become a mighty nation.

At the right time, I, the Lord, will make it happen.” 

~ Isaiah 60:1-2, 19-22

Today’s lesson: The best I can do is accept and receive what God wants to make happen in my life. 

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Excerpt: You Must Believe to Understand

Introduction to The Process of Asking for, Receiving and Giving Love & Forgiveness

[F]or you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light.

Dear friends, I warn you as “temporary residents and foreigners” to keep away from worldly desires that wage war against your very souls. Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God when he judges the world.  ~1 Peter 2:9, 11-12

The most difficult tasks involved in writing The Process of Asking for, Receiving and Giving Love and Forgiveness were deciding to whom to address the text and to maintain that focus throughout the book.

My questions to “self” consisted of: Am I writing to the people who love, or to the people who are loved? Am I addressing the repentant at heart, or the unrepentant? Should I focus on those who have forgiven, or those who have received forgiveness? Is this work ultimately for people who believe in God, His Son Jesus and His Holy Spirit, or for those who don’t believe at all?

The answer from “self” was: everyone represents, has represented or will represent each of those characteristics at any given point of their life.

This book is a tool to be used in working out love, repentance and forgiveness issues in human relationships through the examples God has provided. Those relationships could be with parents, siblings, spouses, other family members, friends, co-workers, neighbors or community members. There are many relationships during the course of our lives through which we have to navigate our way. Some of those relationships fail and die because one or both parties involved are unfamiliar with the process of love, repentance and forgiveness. Love, repentance and forgiveness are more than just words that you speak and forget about. Love requires action. Repenting mends the love you hurt. Forgiveness is a loving response to the attack on love. They are all choices. Asking is involved. Receiving is necessary. Giving is the only way each is shared.

The Process of Asking for, Receiving and Giving Love and Forgiveness is a work by a Christian woman who has chosen to purposefully sow into the Kingdom of Heaven. My goal with this book is to speak directly to anyone with eyes, ears and a heart open to see, hear and receive the truth of the Word of God. The majority of Biblical scripture used in this volume is addressed to Believers from the mouths and pens of Jesus and His Disciples.

The Holy Bible is a Teacher’s Manual full of instructions telling Believers (a.k.a. Teacher Aides) how to conduct themselves… and how to show God to other people. Believers are commissioned to teach the world by showing nonbelievers God’s ways through their mode of living and their treatment of others. The Father’s process is very deliberate!

The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent.  ~ 2 Peter 3:9-10

This knowledge encouraged me to address Believers and nonbelievers alike. My hope is that the Believer will be encouraged, edified and strengthened; and that the nonbeliever will be exposed to a truth they can no longer deny and will begin to pursue.

What does it mean to “believe”?

God’s word is locked. His secrets are hidden. His word does not make sense to everyone. He does not reveal knowledge and understanding to all of Creation. But those He call His children are permitted to know His secrets and understand His ways through His Spirit.

How do you become a Child of God?

You must believe on and receive the One He sent – Jesus Christ the Messiah.

We must have confidence in and be convicted of God’s existence. That’s how we believe. By believing in His existence, we can then believe in His works.

He came into the very world he created, but the world didn’t recognize Him. He came to his own people, and even they rejected Him. But to all who believed Him and accepted Him, He gave the right to become children of God. They are reborn — not with a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan, but a birth that comes from God.  ~ John 1:10-12

Having faith is another way of expressing belief in God. Hebrews 11:1 tells us that faith is the confidence that our hopes will manifest and it assures us about the things we cannot see. Hebrews 11:6 further explains:

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.

Again, this may not make sense to a nonbeliever, but then again a nonbeliever wouldn’t be reading this if they weren’t seeking truth. So, if that’s you, keep on reading!

For the Believers, this may be elementary, but a review never hurts anyone. So, you keep reading as well!

Do you believe God?

You acknowledge that God exists, but do you have enough confidence in His existence to obey His Word? To believe God is to accept what He says as true. He doesn’t allow picking and choosing or alternating between a straight walk and a zigzag. If you claim to believe in God, but you do not believe what He says in the Bible (His Word), then you do not really believe God. God and His Word are one. “The Word” is also another name for Jesus Christ. God and Jesus are one. If you believe God, you will believe and obey His Word. If you do not believe what God says directly or through Jesus, it is God Himself you are disbelieving and rejecting. (Yoonu Njub, 1998)

But these are written so that you may continue to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that by believing in Him you will have life by the power of His name.  ~ John 20:31

How to become a Believer

If you desire to become a child of God, a Believer, one of God’s chosen people, a member of His royal priesthood and holy nation, then simply do so. All that is required is that you follow His instructions. If you desire to become one of God’s very own possessions and heed His call by walking out of the darkness of the world and into His wonderful eternal light, then you have only to believe in your heart and speak with your lips the words of Romans 10:9-10, and ask the Father to be your Teacher and Guide for everything He wishes for you to learn on your spiritual walk with Him.

If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved. As the Scriptures tell us, “Anyone who trusts in Him will never be disgraced.” Jew and Gentile are the same in this respect. They have the same Lord, who gives generously to all who call on Him. For “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”  ~ Romans 10:9-13