Posted on Twitter aka X by Samuel C W Hart, @samuelcwhart on December 23, 2023
As the only one in my friendship group who’s single and without kids, I know what it’s like to feel lonely.
I live alone and I’m a seasoned lone traveller, solitary cafe go-er and solo diner.
Here’s 10 things I remind myself to do on those days when I’m feeling isolated.
🧵
#1 DO SOMETHING FOR SOMEONE ELSE
There’s a reason this is #1. A scientifically proven way to make you feel happier? Help someone else. A kind gesture for someone else will lift my mood for the day. Maybe longer. Send someone a message, buy a gift, or simply smile at a stranger.
#2 PLAN MY DAY
Without a plan, my day can easily descend into a Netflix binge leaving me feeling rubbish. Making a plan which includes a mixture of some productive tasks + down time leaves me feeling much better than I would have.
#3 SIT WITH MY FEELINGS
Sometimes being alone feels sh*t. But sitting with this, not burying the feeling, is important. Why do I feel like this? What do I need to do? I remember the feeling will pass. + there are things I can do to boost my mood – some are included in this list.
#4 BECOME MY BEST FRIEND
The longest relationship you’ll have is with yourself. If I struggle to be alone then that tells me I need to do some work. It takes time, but learning to enjoy your own company/not rely on others is empowering. There’s only one way to practise this…
#5 GET ON SOCIAL MEDIA
I have a love-hate relationship with social media. There are times when it’s a great resource for feeling connected to people. Feeling lonely? Share a question, thought or something useful on social media and see what response you get. Instant connection.
#6 GET OUT IN NATURE
Go for a walk outside as soon as you can after you wake up to enjoy all the mental and physical health benefits of being in the great outdoors and resetting your circadian clock. This should leave you feeling much better than if you stay indoors all day.
#7 GET IN TOUCH
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t bother friends or family with how I’m feeling or I think they’re too busy to meet up. But usually people have got time for us. So reach out. Maybe they are free to meet. If not, a 10min phone call will perk me up.
#8 EXERCISE
We know the mental health benefits of exercise. But sometimes we don’t feel like going for a run or workout. This is when I remind myself I always feel better after I exercise. The first step out the door is the hardest. Get out there and enjoy moving your body.
#9 PRACTISE MINDFULNESS
Being alone is a great time to practise mindfulness. When you eat, just eat. When you drink a coffee, just drink a coffee. Eliminate distractions. Be in the present. The present moment is all we have. Here is where we find clarity and happiness.
#10 MEDITATE
Saved this one until last because it’s a word that people can resist. But mediation is a powerful tool for growth. It can help us [decrease] ⬇️ anxiety, [increase] ⬆️ calm, and get to know ourselves. Close your eyes, focus on your breath, ask yourself, “Who am I?”. You’ll learn a lot.
And a quote to finish:
“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”
– Blaise Pascal
I don’t want to be part of the problem!
Final note: this is not a cry for help.
I’m surrounded by loving friends and family who I know will always be there when I need them.
There are just those odd days where these feelings hit and that’s when I turn to these 10 things.
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year 🎄
Sam 🙏
Harvest Life 