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Reflection Friday: Lessons from 2019

(from the draft pile)

Vetting Self

No one looks out for your interests better than you. Follow your gut. It’s going to be more accurate for you than the wisest and most experienced person you know. 

When all your effort isn’t good enough, you need to do better. 

The beauty of experience and perspective is every time you start over you’re in a better position than the last time. 

Sometimes the best you can do is what can be done with what you have right now. 

If you’re bringing nothing to the table, don’t expect to sit down. 

If you’re providing the table, you get to choose who joins you. 

I don’t know where life is leading me, but I know it’s nowhere I’ve been before.

I don’t know what I’m doing, but I know I’m doing it well. 

Vetting Relationships

People who don’t believe in themselves, will never believe in you. 

People who lie to your face don’t deserve your truth. 

Avoid people who attempt to convince you your value is only what they assign to you. 

The people who don’t have time for you when you’re down don’t deserve your time when up you’re up. 

A “friend” who doesn’t have time for your joy is someone you shouldn’t have time for. 

People who dump their waste into your life need to lose access to your life. They won’t stop simply because you ask them to. It’s up to you to erect and maintain your boundaries. 

No matter how much you want to be in good relationship or fellowship with someone, if they’re not interested, there’s no relationship. 

It’s better to live alone than to share your home with someone who disturbs your peace. 

Vetting Workers

Observing and questioning hired workers (contractors, consultants, freelancers) may come across as shrewish or even hostile, but ultimately it’s a prudent and shrewd act of self-preservation. 

You don’t need to know everything. You need to know enough to ask questions and secure a person with skills and talents to do what you need to have done. 

When people root for your failure, give them something unexpected to cheer for. 

When enough is enough 

I’ve never considered myself to be a sucker, a mark, or naïve. I take people at their word until their word diminishes in value. With each encounter I assume the person engaging with me is truthful, honest and sincere.  

There are no safe places. Believing in such is part of the repeated trauma. When we accept that wherever we are in the world requires us to fight for our right to exist as/where/how we want, we’ll be better prepared for all that comes against us and better able to stand against it all.  

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Starting off fresh.

For the last five years or so I’ve taken a two week vacation straddling the last week of the year and first week of the new year. I don’t often travel during this time. If I do, it’s only for a few days in the middle of my break. My initial goal for the time off was to enjoy my home and local attractions because vacations and weekend trips always took me away. After years of using all my time off traveling, visiting, or generally moving around and realizing very little to none of my limited time was spent being still, resting, refreshing or reconnecting with myself, I began shutting down at the end of the year.

During this years’ break I’ve been much busier than I wanted to be, but it is also a pivot time in my life. That being said, a few days ago I simply stopped the busy work, picked up my Bible and allowed myself to sleep in.

This last year has been all about being enough for my life, refreshment and grace. What does it mean to be enough? What is refreshment? How does one embrace grace?

For me, being enough for my life means everything I need to function, grow and excel in my endeavors is within me. I am complete. I am equipped. I able, capable, ready and willing to do what needs to be done to move forward in life.

Refreshment comes from rest. It’s not just about doing nothing. Resting is willfully stopping and choosing to be still. Breathing. Recalibrating.

Embracing grace is about accepting your vulnerabilities, shortfalls and weaknesses. In relation to my year-end shut down, grace is present when I reflect on last year. How have I fallen short on my goals? What did I want that wasn’t achieved? Did I do what I am able to do and let go of the things out of my control?

There’s also grace in planning for the next year. How can I progress on last years goals? How can I move any ball forward? Do I still want what elluded me last year? How have my priorities changed? How do I allocate my time, energy and resources? What do I let go of or put on the back burner?

Reflection, self-evaluation and goal-setting have long been part of my year-end process. What’s new is showing myself some TLC while allowing myself time and space to process my life.

Here’s to hoping you’re giving yourself time and space to recalibrate and start of fresh in 2018.

Continued blessings to you all.