63 Today
LaShawnda Jones, May 24., 2023
Uncle Ed called to say his Big Sis would
be 63 today. Oh! How alive
that number sounds! I said I stopped counting
at 60 for you and 45 for
me. I’m still living in 2020,
it seems. It was a good year, I think…. or
maybe 60 and 45 were good
numbers for me.
It’s impossible to
not remember, you’re always in my
thoughts, but I worked today. Current job has
kept me discombobulated. Life is
emotionally taxing, financial-
ly insecure, physically exhaust-
ing. I’m guessing, life was the same, but more
so, for you. I know you struggled, but you
were so caring and grace-filled, it didn’t
show negatively. How did you manage
life with no focused care? No time to heal
from one abusive phase to another?
Were you ever at ease? Were you ever
able to reflect and release? Did you
experience joy? What did you hope for?
How did you do it? Did you ever heal?
Had you been allowed to age, would life have
grown gentle and kind? Were gentleness and
kindness something you understood enough
to yearn for?
Your presence was joy to me.
What was joy to you? Was any portion
of your earth time enjoyable? Better
than bearable? Worthy of thanksgiving?
63 today. Each year since you left
I think I know you better than ever
and not at all. Who were you, Terry Ann?
What did you want for your life? Did you leave
unfulfilled, aching? Did you give in, just
let go of whatever kept you grounded?
Wherever you are in life after earth,
I pray you are imbued with joy, light and
all good things. I pray no memories or
shadows of your earthly sorrows travel
with you. Should our spirits meet again, I
ask only to embrace you with love and
gratitude. May the Creator of All
convey my prayer, my Beloved Mother.
