(from the draft pile)
Vetting Self
No one looks out for your interests better than you. Follow your gut. It’s going to be more accurate for you than the wisest and most experienced person you know.
When all your effort isn’t good enough, you need to do better.
The beauty of experience and perspective is every time you start over you’re in a better position than the last time.
Sometimes the best you can do is what can be done with what you have right now.
If you’re bringing nothing to the table, don’t expect to sit down.
If you’re providing the table, you get to choose who joins you.
I don’t know where life is leading me, but I know it’s nowhere I’ve been before.
I don’t know what I’m doing, but I know I’m doing it well.
Vetting Relationships
People who don’t believe in themselves, will never believe in you.
People who lie to your face don’t deserve your truth.
Avoid people who attempt to convince you your value is only what they assign to you.
The people who don’t have time for you when you’re down don’t deserve your time when up you’re up.
A “friend” who doesn’t have time for your joy is someone you shouldn’t have time for.
People who dump their waste into your life need to lose access to your life. They won’t stop simply because you ask them to. It’s up to you to erect and maintain your boundaries.
No matter how much you want to be in good relationship or fellowship with someone, if they’re not interested, there’s no relationship.
It’s better to live alone than to share your home with someone who disturbs your peace.
Vetting Workers
Observing and questioning hired workers (contractors, consultants, freelancers) may come across as shrewish or even hostile, but ultimately it’s a prudent and shrewd act of self-preservation.
You don’t need to know everything. You need to know enough to ask questions and secure a person with skills and talents to do what you need to have done.
When people root for your failure, give them something unexpected to cheer for.
When enough is enough
I’ve never considered myself to be a sucker, a mark, or naïve. I take people at their word until their word diminishes in value. With each encounter I assume the person engaging with me is truthful, honest and sincere.
There are no safe places. Believing in such is part of the repeated trauma. When we accept that wherever we are in the world requires us to fight for our right to exist as/where/how we want, we’ll be better prepared for all that comes against us and better able to stand against it all.
